Monday, October 20, 2008

Do you speak F language?

Can you speak F Language? No, its not French language and No, its not Fuck language. Its F-Language. Ever heard of it? You may have heard of it in grade/primary school in the 80s. You may have used it then and we still do till this day.

It works very well for us because only CJ and I understand it at home and speak it very fast because we've gone past the stage where we can spell out the words that we don't want our children to realise we're talking about. He knows that once I start talking in F, it means its something that the children is not supposed to hear.

Previously we were like, "hey shall we go for a S-W-I-M?". We spell it like that so that we don't let our children know that we were planning it in case we change our mind. Letting them know plans in advance that we don't carry out just means disaster in terms of disappointment / pouty faces / wailing / whining and mild temper tantrums. BUT now that our girls CAN READ & SPELL, spelling out our "hidden" words just doesn't work anymore. So we fell back to speaking F language real quick in these occasions and it still works fabulous.

So how do you speak F language?

Its where you place a letter F in front of every syllable break.

You break up a word if it has syllables and say the actual word, then u repeat it again right after but remove the first letter of the repeated word and replace it with an "F".

The first exception is that when its a vowel, you just add an "F" in front the repeated word without removing the vowel. Another exception is that if the original word already starts with F, just say it once. Ie Fish is just fish, not Fishfish.

For example:

How are you? is Howfow arefare youfou?

Shall we eat pizza or macaroni tonight? is Shallfall wefee eatfeat pifi zafa orfor mafa cafa rofo nifi tofo nightfight?

You damn fucking bastard, I'm going to kill you! is Youfou damnfamn fucking basfas tardfard, I'mfi'm gofo ingfing tofo killlfill youfou!

Shall we go swimming or go to the beach? is Shallfall wefee gofo swimfwim ingfing orfor gofo tofo thefhe beachfeach?

The trick about listening to someone speak the F language is that you just listen to the first syllables and ignoring the F-f-f-f that comes after that. What other people would hear is a whole bunch of words that they partially can understand but a whole lot of FFFffffsss...

So there you have it. F-language. Specially effective for parents of lower primary levels where they still haven't figured out what the heck their parents are Fuh fuh fuhing about. Or just when you want to pass the message to a fellow F language speaker while confusing other people when you feel like it.

Thankfank youfou for readfead ingfing myfy blogflog. Nowfow gofo learnfearn somefome F langfang guagefuage. :)


Yusry said...

Honestly speaking, the F language works with malay the best. Cause malay words are syllable words, and it's easier to say it.

Aka Pamela S. said...

LOL! Really. Well I didn't know that but now I do.. so do you speak F language - malay version too?

Spank-A-Lot said...

The only problem with the F language is that Fuck is still Fuck. Not a good thing to still say it with the kids around.

Anonymous said...

wahfah! thisfis refetrofro lahfah!

ok... seriously i never understand how my friends could do that loh! they were going fe-fa-fo all the time and i would be scratching my heard. i know how it works just never able to catch it. guess my brain just works too slowly.


Anonymous said...

Hey, the F language! My friends used to speak in front of me and I don't understand at all. I wonder how you guys can speak them so fast. But do they still using it nowadays?

Anonymous said...

Interesting! If someone really talks like this to me, not sure I can understand or not?!?! *LOL*

Anonymous said...

Aiyalamak!!! Why you go and teach??

Aka Pamela S. said...

Spank-a-lot: Well we don't exactly say FUCK unless we're ultra pissed and even then, my kids know if they do hear that they stay FAR FAR FAR away from us.

Claudia: Heyfey nowfow youfou canfan speakfeak F langfang guagefage! yayfay!

Maria: We do! Hahaha!

Angeline: It takes a little filtering but its definitely understandable.

Adele: So the "NEEDY PARENTS" who read my blog can learn MAHH! hahahah!

uglyfatchick (Chicky) said...

It's super popular when I was in primary school. after F came S and M language. It's scary. I had problems with english and mandrain already and I hear my friends go FFF SSS MM . -.-

Aka Pamela S. said...

Ah.. I tried S & M language.. doesn't "sound" as nice as F language Hahahaha...

kashif said...

This is the example in this passage
''Shall we eat pizza or macaroni tonight? is Shallfall wefee eatfeat pifi zafa orfor mafa cafa rofo nifi tofo nightfight?''
I have been speaking this language for many years i wanna say that the
u dont need to repeat the same word rather u add the letter F before the vowel.
The above example in F language will be ''sfall wfe efat pfizfa ofr mfacrfonfi tfonfight''. u see that before every vowel the letter F is added and if a word start from a vowel then u have to add F after the vowel.

Jon said...

I love the F language me and my mom speak it all the time

Still Tall said...

I have been speaking the F language since the late 40's or early 50's (that's 19 not 18). My mother and aunt used it frequently to tell secrets or gossip. Little did they know that my sister and I would be sharp with languages and would figure it out quickly. We use it ourselves for fun sometimes. I googled it and was shocked that it was cited. I'm supposed to demonstrate it as part of a skit to about 150 people in a few days. I use the version Kashif wrote about. This is amazing. Who knew...