Even more questions...

.... really.. the questions that kids ask can really make u feel like an idiot when you don't have an answer.. sometimes I'm not convinced of my own answers... so here goes.. let me know if you have a good answer to any of these.. it would be really appreciated...

"do ants have eyelids?"

"do ants sleep?"

"how does you hair know when to stop growing?"

"why do we need a butt?" (Don't know why this came up.. but how the heck do u answer that??)

(best one yet) "why do boobies look like they are staring at me?"

"why do they call him SpongeBob Square Pants when it looks like shorts?"

"Can fish cry?"

"Why does ABC and Twinkle Twinkle sound the same?"

Anyone know how to answer all these??

Why? Why? Tell me why?

Why is it that sometimes, even the simplest things can make you almost dumbfounded? And why is it always stuff that a child asks me? You would think that as an adult, you would have most of the answers.. so here goes on stuff that really makes me go... DUH.

Pam: "La la lalala, **singing** where is thumbkin, where is thumbkin, here I am! Here I am... lalalalala..." (raising her thumb and waving it about)...

Eirian... singing along and doing the actions and... here comes Lauren.

Lauren: "stop! I have a question."

Everyone stops singing and looks at Lauren... "yes?"

Lauren: "If this is thumbkin (showing her thumb), this is pointer (showing her 2nd finger), this is tall man, this is ring man and this is pinkie..."

Lauren: (Points to her toes) "...and this is Big Toe... (points to her last toe) ... and this is Small Toe... (points to 2nd, 3rd, & 4th Toe)... what are these 3 called?"

Pam: ........ (scratch head)...

How ah? *Good God, give me the answers to questions like this... I can't be that DUHH....How?*

Even more random thoughts...

Have you ever felt lost and feeling afraid? What did you do? How did you snap out of it?

I'm sure not feeling unloved. I feel love all around, even when CJ's feeling grumpy.

Lost as in you're not sure what you're really doing, whether you're doing the right things and going down the right path?

And if I am in the right path, why is it so hard? I know its said that the road to success is a narrow and bumpy road. I cannot expect it to blossom overnight, but I sure as hell want to be travelling with a mission, a purpose and with money in my pockets.

I don't want us to owe money, don't want debts. They just tie you down and make you feel like crap.

If only, if only I can find that step against this mountain to take a step up, then we would be on our way to achieving what we desire and improving our way of life.

I want so many things.. but everything needs money... eventually, even fresh air and sunshine will need money.. I'm sure... what then?

People say, live your dream and money will come. When work is not like work and is your life, then you can live your passion and everything will fall into place.

One part of me says, YES! THATS SO TRUE! and the other part of me that feels like crap says like how Jim Carrey in the mask would say, "Reheeeheeeaallly?"

I can safely say that I'm doing what I've always wanted. I can feel that its going to go somewhere big. Just that I need a bigger pair of spectacles to give me a clearer looks at my VISION. I need a sharper vision of what I want to be happening. I really need to sit down and think about this without running my nose into the ground worrying about money all the time.

I'm sure I don't have it as bad as CJ does. He does the big thinking of how the company is going and is doing a wonderful job of being a head honcho. For me, I'm more executive than anything.. I know how I like things to be and do it that way but have a hard time pulling all the important stuff together. I'm trying to learn and say.. baby steps..

Just that I need that baby to run a little faster...

More random thoughts

Here I go again... ranting somemore before I try to drift off to sleep. Somehow, sleeping doesn't seem as pleasurable as before. I used to LOVE to sleep and find the utmost satisfaction from sleeping a long time if possible.. these days. Sleep is just over rated. I still sleep and find it hard to wake up all the time but its just not as good anymore. That just sucks.

Work has been busy.. in a sense.. new potential projects coming up and current movie events to work on. Its been a little hectic as we hope to grow the business.. I just can't help but feel disappointed that some really hopeful deals didn't go though for some reason. Just gotta move on and work towards finding more deals. Running your own kinda makes u even more a cynic than ever. You look at people through the slits of your eyes while your mouth is smiling. Deceptive? Yes... you do a double take and start suspecting their motives.. rare are the people who do not have a motive and are truely genuine in their dealings. No wonder it seems that businessmen are rarely seen smiling alot. Dog eat Dog is so true..

I suspended my gym membership last month for a period of 3 months to resume in June. I haven't been exercising since then and neither have I been on my atkins diet but u know what? I haven't gained the weight I lost. I still remain at 5kg down but I haven't lost further. In a way, I take that as a consolation that the diet is truely amazing and if I can work towards dropping another 5kg at one shot and maintain that, it may seem like a plan.

I wanted to note down of somthing that was a motivational factor to me some time ago. If u have been following my blog, you would have known that I wrote about a local designer named Hayden who owns a really chic boutique over at Club Street. We've been in contact and talking over email from time to time. He was fully agreeable to support my weight loss plan this year and I mentioned that I would like to work on a "reveal" at the end of the year to highlight the success of the diet and exercise plan for this year.

He agreed with much delight that he would design and make a dress. JUST FOR ME. In honour of my reveal and to motivate me on to achieving my goal.. what a darling he really is.

We ran some ideas of what I would like and I mentioned that I would like it red and floral but classy.. in the design of his scarf dresses that I love so much but with a drop V string back and possibly some embroidery... he said he would be trying out on the V back part as he needs to "balance the fabric". Really, I don't know what that means but heck, he would.

I'm looking forward to seeing the design at the end of the year.. I'm sure it would look so fabulous.. now all I have to do now is work on the body.. It cant be that hard.. can it? ...

In a way, I feel that I'm blessed with these kinds of stuff that happens which other people would think that it was really wonderful to happen.. yea.. I'm pleasantly bubbling with pleasure about that...

Random Thoughts...

Its been a while since I've been back at this page. I've been putting it off for a while while thinking, yea.. I'll get to it.. just that I haven't been up to writing much. I've been following blogs of my friends.. glad to know that some things are falling into place for some of them.. comforted to know that their blogs are still a way for me to know what they have been up to without their explicit connection of calling or seeing each other.

I'm feeling lost.. and I hate the feeling. Many times, I think I know what I'm set out to do, I get all charged up and raring to go and along the way pull some of my friends up with as much encouragement as I can.. I want to see everyone I care for grow too.. but right now. I'm just.

feeling. down. I'm not quite sure if this is a phase.. which I really hope it is because I need something to perk me up soon. I'm not sure if its fatigue.. I don't feel THAT tired.. I'm not sure if its because I'm not feeling too well. I'm pretty sure that I'm feeling crappy because I'm currently not in a state of peak financial health.. its all just. CRAP. sigh.

Eirian was diagnosed last Monday with Hand Foot and Mouth Disease.. a temporary condition that affects young children that has symptoms of high fever, raised rash n spots and worse... really huge ass fucking gigantic mouth ulcers.. sigh.. poor baby.. she spent the week with us at the studio so that she could rest, we could monitor her and we could keep her away from Lauren.. so spent the first half of the week crying day and night and it took alot from both CJ and I not to feel like giving her a spanking or scolding her for crying so much.

It wasn't her fault.. she felt like shit. Her mouth was FULL OF ULCERS. It hurt me just to see her wail.. Well the week past, she's been sleeping with us for the whole week already... the king sized bed isn't enough for 3. Much less 3 of our kind.. aka really big people kind.

Its Saturday evening now and she's feeling a whole lot better. One last ulcer to go, she's eating again, drinking well too and annoying us to no end.. the rashes are drying up too.. now what I have to look forward to is the 1/4 bleach and 3/4 water solution that I have to make up to wipe down and wash ALL HER TOYS.

That my friends, is no fucking joke. Considering the large amount of nick nacks they have in their room. Urgh. Great. Just great...

It didn't help either that CJ was feeling crappy the whole week too. It was a VERY unproductive week for us with so many of us down like this.. It peaked for him last night where he literally spent the whole night hacking his lungs out till he lost his voice. He woke me up this morning with sign language and off we went to the doctors. AGAIN... and guess what.. he's got laryngitis.

I've been packing him with medicine for the whole day on a 4 hour schedule and he seems better.. the voice is back and the cough is relatively minimal. Not bad for about $50 bucks worth of medicine.. at least it works..

With Friday being Good Friday, my MIL packed Lauren off to my sister in law's place to spend the weekend. Thank god for that so that she doesn't get affected by all the germs and crap thats floating about the house these few days.. I'm crossing my fingers that she will remain perfectly well as I know I'm going to break down and cry really loud if she does.. Lauren has a case of getting fits when she gets a high fever.. couple this with the 2 that are lying snoring next to me now. I'm going to go crazy. So fingers and toes crossed. Please God. Keep Lauren safe and well.

Meet the Robinsons - A Berri Werks Movie Event