Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I had a great experience filming the short film, The Red Geisha. The director was great. The cast was great. The crew was great! The set was beautiful, the costumes were lovely and heck! I even got the main role!
Not bad for a first time acting role in a film.
I was nervous as hell, feeling a little inadequate amongst all the professionally trained actors that were my co-stars, but still enjoying the experience nonetheless.
The still pictures came out gorgeous. I never knew I could fit into such a tight fitting cheongsam from Chinatown. I literally climbed my block for some days just to get my ass into that dress. They NEVER have my size so I was surprised I could even wear one.
I collected a copy of the final DVD of the film for my personal records yesterday and I sat down that evening to view the work. I must say that there are some nicely artistic parts that are really well done and some parts that I feel I could have done better.
My R(A) scene in the beginning I thought was a little horrifying and I was appalled to note that I looked so HUGE. They tell me that being on TV/Film can add 20% to your size but since I lost 25% in real life off my body and face and the film piles another 20%, I pretty much looked like I was back at 95kg!!
I was simply appalled and traumatised that I looked so fat and sometimes SO BLUR!! What the heck happened to my defined jawline? Dun have lor! I look so round!!
Was it that I was heavily menstruating at the time of filming that I was so swollen and water retentioned? I can only pray that was why I was SOOOOOOO FREAKING ROUND!!!!
Seriously, the show was good, the storyline was interesting. It was ME. I'm disappointed that I looked that way and started to wonder if that was how others really saw me and that I'm not as "pretty"as I thought I was after all.
Ok.. a little narcissism here lah, I think I look a hell of alot better now than when I was over 100kg in size but now I have my doubts. And its the doubts that makes me disappointed.
In a bedroom scene, if I were the man, I wouldn't even fuck myself if I had a partner who looked like roly poly "Ham Chee Peng" face me. Holy cow! and I've got to do SOMETHING about my arms lah. I have bat wings. *wails*
Bat wings - the flap of loose skin and fat that hangs off the upper arm.
In real life, you'd see that my stance, walk and posture will not allow for me to show for fallacies like a really bad double chin or even things like a DOUBLE CHEEK. Yes, it was THAT bad. Its more of my mother's influence in my childhood that we had a certain level of ettiquette and demeanour towards carrying ourselves from ensuring that we took care of our skin, teeth to hair to the way we walked. Ie shoulders back, posture and a strong walk.
I walked around in one scene looking like I was partially drugged and stumbling around looking for a toilet and I was supposed to be surveying and admiring my "brothel". And the worst part, even CJ laughed when he saw it and said "Very unglam leh! You didn't carry yourself well!". Gosh.. stab me in the heart will ya! .... *holding the tiny knifelet in my chest* And whats even worse was that, when I was doing that during filming.. I seriously didn't realise that it was looking like that. DO I walk really like that? Its very AUNTY LIKE LEH!! **wails**
Its not like I'm thinking making a career move out of this but I thought that it would make an interesting aspect to my life if I can do it. *Heh heh, I get this kick out of seeing myself commercially lah! hahhah*
It can be put down that I'm still new to this and an amateur and that I'll ripen over time with experience but for my first time, so sad lah! I'm disappointed and felt that I could have done better. I will surely be working to DO BETTER next time. When I get another chance.
In the meantime, I actually had some audition calls from some casting directors to try out for some roles but I missed them due to various reasons. But I'm still shortlisted for others with details to come if and when I need an audition for them. They said they'll be in touch with me... Stuff ranging from TVCs to a short film to a feature film. I guess who knows where this may lead. I'm tempted to just stick to print where I could pose for multiple shots and they find the best one and photoshop me up to perfection.. On film.. cannot lor!... sigh....
My actor/actress friends have been telling me that I'll get better over time with experience and that they had similar experiences and not to be discouraged and to chalk it up to experience. They've given me some acting advise too which are quite priceless so I'm grateful that they shared their insights with me.
But in the meantime, do I want to spend my time pursuing this path?... I'm still contemplating thus the sad look in the pictures above.... To act or Not to Act... that is the question.... but for now... I don't think I would be putting up for some roles till I hit my 55-60kg size so that I won't end up traumatising myself for looking like I'm 100kg again on TV. Unless of course they're looking for AH PUI Ah niah *fat girl* for some dairy commercial. I can lor... sigh. *wails*
**and I know that the director Lydia would definitely read this, but know your film was gorgeous and lovely and this is about only about me. Next time when you're a successful commercial international director, you can cast me again and I promise that I'll be better. Thank you for the opportunity, I'm eternally grateful for the experience. ~**
Friday, April 25, 2008
*ahem!* Not bad eh! *hands sweating in excitement to see the finalised film* But for now... Enjoy!!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
It happened. AGAIN. Lauren has head lice. AGAIN!!! Damn it lah! I spoke to her form teacher this morning and she advise that she will be swapping Lauren's seat in class from Monday onwards. Doesn't that sound highly suspicious to you? So, its to avoid a particular person in class and it just so happens that I know who sits around Lauren in her classroom and there can only be one which I highly suspect could be the carrier of these disgusting creatures. *roar*
Damn lah! It just means that apart from our office moving + moving the house around this weekend, I've gotta spend some hours MONKEYING her hair AGAIN!!! Damn Damn Damn!!!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Lauren and Eirian helped too. And on the side.. we topped it with this. Tocino *pronounced as Toh See No* which is a filipino pork dish of sliced meat marinated with pineapple and various spices. Its quite similar to char siew but with not so much sauce. Not the one I made this time anway. Enjoy.
What is HOPE? *ahem, yes I asked every single one if I could quote them*
- To wish for something with expectation of it being coming true....
- Something intangible that can strengthen you and set you free, based on faith I think...
- HOPE... something that you know is true and will come true but cannot be seen right now but will come to pass soon. However.. if someone tells you to HOPE LAH... that is defined as NO HOPE LIAO, better jump of the Singapore Flyer at the top. *-.-'' I knew I was going to get some kind of answer from this person hahahaha*
- To believe; to look forward to with confidence...
- Hope is milder than wish and the word hope is taken for granted by many people i.e. i hope blablabla but without doing anything to it themselves. but it's defiitely better to be able to hope for something rather than not having anything to hope for.
- Expectation & Desire *hahha galfriend checked the longman dictionary for this!*
- Hope can be good or bad; hope is about believing.
- A dream/thought that something good will happen.
- Possibilities to make things right.
- Monday & Thursday night... after 7pm to be exact. *I was puzzled so I went HUH? and then it hit me. $1 million $$ hope. Hhahaha TOTO.. thats hope for you!* Funniest answer yet!
- Still be able to achieve, to look forward to. Still got chance?
- HOPE is something that I wish for in life... its a positiveness shown in myself
- Hope is a faith..a belief in the unseen...that glimmer..that light at the end of the tunnel that u knw will defnitely be there even when circumstances are tough now...it will be OK.
- Hope is when you have all the reasons to give up on something but you can't.
This is what Wikipedia says:
Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope implies a certain amount of despair, wanting, wishing, suffering or perseverance — i.e., believing that a better or positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary.
More here.So there isn't a right or wrong answer... and I know sometimes we all just want hope to be a tangible thing that we can just find and have. I sit back and close my eyes in silent recluse and listen to myself breathe.
Hope has levels doesn't it? Like having little hope and alot of hope? On scales of 1 to 10? How do you give hope? Can you create hope? Can it be given? Can someone give me more? What is hope to you?
Haven't felt very up to working out either ever since I fell sick some days back. Need some new workout music and motivation and some serious vitamin M$M. They say stress hinders weightloss. I take it that I'm not going to be moving the scales alot for a while. Moving out of the office in a couple of days and feeling very crappy about it. I'm going to miss this place. Alot. *sigh*
Don't stop reading yeah... :) Oh and btw.. have you joined the Million List yet? If you haven't, check it out here. I'm number 470. Whats your number?
Or click on this and register your blog...
Thursday, April 17, 2008
For months now, I do my evening jogs around my estate and I start of with some mandatory stretching and then I begin plodding along my route and I do this normally for 6 rounds + stretch/crunch/legraise + do a final 25 floor climb to finish off. On most days, mental strength will pull me through my rounds and enable me to complete it with much gusto.
Some strange days like today, I was winded by my 3rd round and I couldn't understand why and I walked the 4th round and decided that that was it for the day so I settled in for my regular stretches and leg raises that I do after my runs. No matter what I did to talk to myself today that my body can do it, its all in my mind.. today. It was really just not working.
The playground was full so I didn't even have my regular spot on the ground to lay down so I chose a different area. I finished my 100 leg raises and then I decided again... thats it. Today was just not a workout day.
I strolled to my block and purposely slowed my steps so I'd miss a lift that was getting full from people coming back from work. Also because I smelt like sweat which really isn't that pleasant in a crowded lift.
I stood there with another lady and the other lift came down and opened. To our surprise, we saw a teenage malay boy bending over another one and we saw to our horror that the one on the ground was having a foaming fit.
Wah lau eh!! HENGSUAY LAH! Must happen to me lor!
At that moment, there was really no one else other than myself and that other lady around with the boys. We hesitated and stared not knowing what to do. I stared at her and we stared at them.
She asked "what happened?" The boy said "he's like that, just needs some time to get up"
So I asked "you need help?" The boy feebly nodded.
With the woman holding the lift doors open, I hopped into the lift and together with the other boy, dragged the unconcious one out to the lift floor.
MY GOODNESS. An unconcious body is DAMN BLARDY HEAVY OKAY!!! And he was skinny type one lor! -.-''
I take it that the boy is around 15 years old or so.
I attempted to lift him and fireman lift him but he was really damn heavy so we just dragged him by his armpits out. Aiyoh!
It just so happen also at that moment when we stepped out, another block resident was returning home from work and it happened to be a NURSE.
The woman yelled out "are you a nurse? are you a nurse? can you help?" and I turned to look at who was coming.
OF course she was a blardy nurse lah! She's wearing her full uniform what?!?!!! What the hell? Panic warped your mind issit? DUH!! Relax mah!! U panic, they panic, everyone panic then how? Piangs!!
Immediately I turned into healthcare mode. *I bet you didn't know I'm actually "medically trained" hahaha I'm a St. John first aider/student nurse and my MIL was a TTSH nurse before she retired...*
I pulled out my phone to call the ambulance and asked the boy if he wanted us to proceed. He didn't want us to call and said his brother is always like that. So we waited and checked again. "Sure you don't want us to call the ambulance?". He declined again.
I positioned the boy into recovery position and together with the nurse, we tried to assess his situation and check that he was able to breathe and had a pulse etc etc... he seemed fine considering that he wasn't actually still convulsing and foaming anymore.
He stopped spitting saliva and was just getting really relaxed. A minute later, he fell asleep.
Really sleep like snoring too.. so we all just squatted around him and stared at him while talking to his brother. Obviously we found out that they were brothers and they were walking up and down the blocks sticking "TO RENT" signages on the walls of each floor for some rental agent as some part time work.
We found out that they lived nearby and that the brother actually had fits regularly. We could still see the fear in the little brothers eyes so we tried to stay calm.
Then the RC door opened nearby from a finished tuition class and a stream of parents and children started to crowd the area. Obviously there were KAYPOs too, asking and asking what happened. IRRITATING LAH!! We tried to clear the area to make sure there was enough ventilation and before long, after some really LOR SOR uncles talking and giving their "sound" advise were cleared.
The lady that found the boys with me offered to drive the boys back home and she and her husband waited around while the nurse and me sat by the boys side.
For some reason, I didn't want to leave until I was sure that he woke up and was alright. I'm sure the nurse felt the same. It was like an obligation that held us there knowing that we'd not be able to live with ourselves if we just left the situation half done.
We patted his arm trying to rouse him. He slept on so we waited and waited and waited.. probably for about 30 minutes then he started to stir and rub his head.
We called out to him, "Irfan! Irfan! Can you hear me?" He finally opened his eyes and we pulled him up to sit.
He was in a total daze with his eyes wide open in shock and stared at us in panic. I quickly told him to stay calm and that he had a fit.
"Huh! Me had a fit? Oh no." Then clutched his head. We all held him up in a little of a panic thinking that he might throw another fit.
It turned out that while he was collapsing, he hit his head in the lift. Aiyoh!! Poor thing lah.
His brother said he has medication at home so we told him to go home and rest and make sure he took his medication. The couple then helped him up, he was steady enough to walk and they made their way to the car.
The nurse and I just stood by as we watched the car drive off to the boy's home. And I felt my heart swell in pride.
Pride in not that I was able to help but how we all rallied together to help a stranger out of genuine concern. And with that I was heartened to see the strength of the human spirit come together in times of trouble.
Thank God. You work in mysterious ways. I hope the boys are fine....
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The link finally works. After years, I finally find a working link for this site.
I KNOW ITS AN OLD FLASH LAH BUT ITS BACK!!!
We found this link some years back and found it so **EMPOWERING**!!
And you can customise it to your own name too!
CLICK HERE to customise this flash with your name and play it daily man!!
Whooohhoooo!!!!! Time to mess my mind!!! Whoooooot!!!
RRROOOAAARRRR!!!! I. AM. MIGHTY!!!!! *beats chest* ~õuch!~ -.-''
Try it!!! oooooooooohhhhhhh!!!!
I literally waddled down to the gym this morning for a light "come back" workout and to steam up my sinuses. It worked quite well and I left bugis with lunch on hand...
Plonked my ass down on my favourite leather chair.. *ahem* actually I only have one chair hahah anyway.. and made lunch. There u have it. Something very colour balanced as usual. I like my meals colourful with a good dose of green/brown and reds.
What do you see? Well its oak lettuce drizzled with zesty Italian dressing, sprinkled with dried cranberries, a peeled black pepper chicken leg and topped with fresh korean strawberries and a blob of cottage cheese and at the side, Meiji fresh milk.. hehehe...
And this being proof again.. eating to lose weight. Is. Not. Difficult... surely anyone can stomach a lunch like this? :) I can.. anytime. All the time.
When I was lazing about over the weekend filled with virus, she was busy in the living room with some scraps. I heard the scotch tape whizzing in the hall but didn't bother with what she was up to.
She later came to my bedroom and presented me with a "get well soon" pressie! I opened up the pack which she painstakingly stapled like a gift and lifted this little animal up.
I was stunned.
"Oh!, Its. A...... *staring at it and turning it around* err... colourpencil animal?". (breaking out in smiles and CJ going into a jealous fit behind her *CJ pouting - "I also want!!""*)
I was and still am SO AMUSED. She crumpled little scraps of old newspaper and scotch taped them together and gave them limbs with her colourpencils! ... So clever!! Hai!! I'm so proud of her.. and this little thing.. now has a prominent place in my bedside. :)
Friday, April 11, 2008
Cost for doing something like this for the family.. nearly $2K just for an evening with tickets plus Birthday dinner. Insane!! Sim Tia!! Aiyoh!! But overall I enjoyed it. Its a little over hyped but at least I can now say, I rode the flyer. Even though there was nothing really fantastic about it. Would I ride it again if I had to pay for it myself? Unfortunately, no.
With tickets in hand, we set off to explore the main building. No prizes for guessing who sponsored the main atrium garden. Obviously it's Yakult. Hhaha I was surprised I didn't see a stream of Yakult or Yakult figurines strewn around the garden. Or maybe free Yakult samples when we finished walking around the place.. hahaha... Don't have ley... *cheh*
There was a walkway in this area that led you through this little "rainforest" and we stopped periodically to take pictures.. just like tourists! As it was situated right below the capsules, you can look up and see the capsules return from their flight.
And much to my delight, Popeyes had made its way there with it's second outlet! Whoohooo!! I LOVE LOVE Popeyes.. I love their chicken.. I love their coleslaw... and I love their biscuits!! Ok.. so no biscuits now that I'm carb free but I can eat the rest! Whooohooo!!!
And Robert's Coffee... hahha CJ's english name is Robert so we got to tease him a little.... "eh you opened a cafe here meh?" *nudge nudge CJ* Hahaha.
There are other shops on each level of the building.. Kenko which has those little fishes that eat the dead skin off your feet. *I want! I want!* and the Teddy Bear Workshop too... there were several shops to explore... u can find out more about the retail & service outlets here.
So we went to the arrival area which was cordoned off just like the airport, complete with television guides about the flyer, x-ray machine where we had to put our valuables in and of course the metal detector frame which we had to walk through... *what? you mean there's no body frisking to check for hidden items on the body? Hahaha, I was looking forward to having the security frisk CJ and "accidentally" molest him hahahhhahha*
After going through security, we "beeped" our barcode cards on the barcode reader and entered the gates.
So it was an expensive 9 course dinner plus a Chocz chocolate ganache cake which my aunt brought along. Yumm!!! Click on the image to enlarge to see whats available if you want.
This is what happens when you combine the daddy, my daughter and some music at the shopping centre. *faints* Where did she learn to shake her booty like that?!?! *appalled but amused*
Can't be from me.. can it? *smacks self* Can it? *pondering*... damn.. maybe it IS me... sigh. Time for some dance classes lah...
So if u see Lauren out there in the shopping centre prancing about like that... you can be sure that CJ is probably the one bringing them out shopping without me.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
*mumble.. lao gong... a massage sounds good...can?*
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Obviously since this film is somewhat in the genre of macabre where there are body parts being taken as a collection.. this part makes sense that the horrible fascination with human body parts must have been ingrained from experience from their youth. *shudder*
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Now that I look back at the photos of day 2, I really have to applaud the director, Lydia for casting so well. The girls she casted were pretty and all had big eyes. They also knew how to act well! They made me up so I think I can pretty much pass for a real mamasan too! Aka the old money minding Bitch... hahahah
Points I'd remember for quite a long while during the filming of this show are mainly the bloopers that happened. Some were hilarious and left us in a laughing fit.
- Day 1 - Where Pavan aka Leon had to get up from the bed and put on his shirt and slammed his hand on the cupboard making a big "kdong!!!". I burst out laughing. The 2nd take after this still had me in the giggles as he was afraid to hit the cupboard again so his hand was really short like a turtle. Bwwuahahahahahaa... *CUT!!!!!*
- Day 2 - When we were on the bed for the "dead" scene where they were cutting me up with a real scalpel. The bed broke! with all of us on it. Kdong!!!! Half the bed fell through!! OMG!! My face!!!! Heng no one got injured. *CUT!!!!* Thats all of us on the bed through the "mon" aka Monitor where the director checks for framing of the shot. And Yes, my eyes are open in this picture as we're not filming yet! hahahah....
- Day 2 - Where the "crowd" came and we realised that 2 of our extras were actually secondary school boys!! Too young to be patronising a brothel lah! So we spent the time calling them "Little Boys!" aka Sam and Frodo aka B1 and B2. (Think Bananas in Pyjamas)Kua kua kua...! "Eh, Ah di! U think this is a school excursion issit?" They were pretty sweet and sporting after all lah... I hope they enjoyed their stint as extras.
- Day 2 - My cheong sam was SOOO TIGHT. It was almost like a whole day of abs exercise just by sucking in my tummy and even so, I still had a tubby tummy. *alas, that just added to the old charm of being an "experienced aka old" mamasan; sigh*
- Day 3 - I had a line which I absolutely could not say. "I make the Decisions here. Not You!"... I said "I make the Dechichions..."... again... "I make the Didgigions...."... ahhh fuck lah... try again... and Action!! " I make the dechidions...." *Screams* ((thud)) *CUT!!!!!* .... Chant... Decisions. Decisions... ok... finally... ACTION!! "I make the Decisions here. Not You!" .... ahhhhh phew!~