Happy Chinese New Year!

To all those who I have yet to greet... Happy Chinese New Year! May your new year be filled with an abundance of happiness, luck, love and great health with immense wealth!~~

Comments that just make me smile...

I recieved a message from Joe the other day after dropping him a heartfelt festive phone greeting. If you have ever recieved an sms greeting from me, whether its just a hello, thinking about you, what you doing kind. Do note that I spend quite some time thinking about what to say because I really care.

It was one of those few replies that really just made my day. It touched me because of the magnitude of people that Joe has encountered in the radio and media industry. People who have spectacular or bizarre personalities.

Joe = Joe Augustine. Radio DJ, Voice over artist, Emcee/Host extraordinaire. http://radiojoe.com/

To be appreciated by someone just makes having the person as a friend all worthwhile.

"You are really one of the most uplifting people I know - Big Smile, Big Heart and Big Dreams. All the best Pam".... Quoted by Joe A. , 16th Feb 2007.

Uplifting? I've never been called uplifting before but I take it as its a good thing ya? How can you not break out in a quiet smile after something like that? :)

Angel from Heaven

Here's a love poem for created for all those love birds out there. Done ala stalker style so it would take you a while to read it. :) If you're bored, perhaps now would be a good time to click on it and read it for all its worth.

Guess who?

Guess who this is? Do you see the resemblence? Isn't she beautiful? I found this picture sometime back and I spent some time looking at it. It was taken when she was in her 20s. Just about the same age as I am now. She's over 50 now but still just as beautiful as she was in this picture.

The hubby shudders to think that I'd grow old to look like her but I guess its also inevitable in a sense. Shes my mom! *laughs*

Family Montage

The thing about photoshop is that you can do so much with just a simple photograph.. Here's me with my family, with a small collection of various images and a sketch of a rose that I did many years ago.. Click on it to see a bigger image. :) Enjoy.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

If you have kids, join us on the 25th of March 2007 for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for yet another Berri Werks Movie Event! We're sure you'll enjoy it as much as we have always enjoyed oranising our movie events for the past 5 years. Email me for details at pamela@berriwerks.com to book tickets today. Each ticket costs $12.

Food Food & More Food!!

There are a few food places that set me thinking longingly of when I'd return to savour their sumptious dishes.. the first on my list for Nonya Dishes is a place in Serangoon Gardens called Pow Sing Restaurant.. http://www.powsing.com.sg/

Juicy and succulent white chicken slices on steaming hot rice.. mouth swearing chili hot sambal kangkong, tangy crispy baby squids, warming otak are my favourites amongst the whole array of Nonya dishes that can grace your table.. and washed down with home made lime juice.

*drools*

The second is a place that came recommended to us today. No signboard Seafood Restaurant at Geylang. http://www.nosignboardseafood.com/

Everything that appeared on the table was almost orgasmically fantastic. I absolutely LOVED everything we had today. From the chili crab, to the butter crab.. to the fried fish.. to the chicken pieces wrapped in beancurd skin. Fresh scallops, garlic vegetables to the mini mantou buns to the drunken prawns. Everything was totally amazing. This is one place that I will now put on my highly recommended list. DIE DIE MUST TRY.

If I had to choose a hotel restaurant, it would almost only be Mezza9 at the Grand Hyatt along Scotts Road..http://restaurants.singapore.hyatt.com/mezza/mezza_intro.html

Their ever full-reserve a place weeks in advance Sunday International Buffet Brunch with Free Flow Moet & Chandon Champagne is to die for too. From the freshest juices to sections and sections of an impressive international buffet spread from italian to chinese to japanese to whatever you can manage. And the Chocolate Fountain with the array of fruits and pastries... It would almost be heaven on earth on a fateful Sunday afternoon. Couple that with good company. And maybe even a booked room upstairs for the night, a good pay per view movie on the telly and a bubble bath.. it would be SOOOOO amazing. *see! I'm easy to please!! *

If anyone wanted to bring me out to lunch or dinner.. don't need to ask me where to go. Just meet me at any one of the above places and it would be amazing and don't forget to pad your wallet with at least $200. It may sound expensive but it is SO WORTH IT. Promise.

So many things, so little time.

Gosh, there are so much to write about. I have all these thoughts, experiences and encounters that I want to pen down but I just don't have the time. I'm hoping that I can get them all down before I forget them so that they can stay recorded for posterity.

I know that there are only a few people reading my blog. You guys know who you are. :) Thank you for being interested in me. In my life and how little or big each experience or thought I've put into writing here that you have taken the time to read. Time from your life to share a moment in mine. Thank you. :) For those that I know, you have my heart. *although you all know that CJ has most of mine hehehe, you can have a teeny part of it... *

I feel that it keeps me feeling sane. Not that I'm going crazy, but gives me an opportunity to express myself and feel centred somehow. To read back on different times of my life where details had become hazy but were so real to me at that time of posting that entry.

I know my blog is all about me.. but then again.. isn't that what its all about? Writing about what happened to yourself and your reflections. I realise that at many times, it even seems shallow and unintelligent. Without political banter.. or worldly opinions on which government policy has recently rolled out. Neither do I have sports, honestly, I don't know much about any kind of sport or its rules or whos winning.. I really don't give a damn. *shrug* I'd listen to banter on how liverpool won 2 to 1.. or whatever but if U know me well, I have no bloody idea what you're talking about half time.. or what nots.. hahaha

Anyway.. stuff happened over Valentines which I'd love to blog about when I have the time. We ACTUALLY celebrated it with gifts n all... for the first time in over a decade. No kidding.. but true... details coming up sometime.

Chinese New Year came and gone and FUCK!!! I gained back all 5kg that I lost in the 5 weeks that I started my diet. 5 weeks = lost 5kg = regained in 2 weeks of regular diet and minimal exercise.

I'm thoroughly pissed with my lack of self control to have backfired on my regime. Kinda like going off drugs and getting all celebratory and going.. Yes!! I can do this, this time is going to be different and then u close the room door and snort in a vial of coke up ur nostrils and go AHHHHHHH... BACK to bloody square one. *pui*

In a way I do feel its different. I'm angry at myself and I'm fueled with determination to lose it again now and I know that I can easily drop 5kg.. and then work on more from there. CJ tells me that we'd resume our regime from Monday. A month long no carb break for at least 30 days. I'm looking forward to it greatly. In the meantime, I'm just sinking into oblivion. Surrounded by all kinds of snacks... carbs, food and sugary drinks. While I bask in sin for the weekend, I will be looking forward to updating my blog to say that I've done it again. BAM! 5kg gone and more to go... I guess it all comes in good time to start on Monday too as I'd be "good as new" to start working out strenously to shock my body back into getting its work out.

Going more off topic and limiting this to 5 more minutes of writing as I'd need to go to bed soon. Its the first day of returning to work tomorrow and I hope that the long list of stuff I need to go gets done. There is so much to do. Today is what CJ calls "heng gang" where we went back to the studio to "get office open and open for business". We went back to clear up the office and straighten things up in preparation of a busy business year this year.. We're looking forward to it greatly and it looks to be an exciting one. Professionally, it looks like we're growing.

On a personal note, we, or maybe I should say I had a "scare". My period was late.. for a WEEK.
Its not like its regular but its somewhat there to know that it should arrive around a certain time. When it did not, I guess that it got CJ all excited. I was apprehensive and mentally kicking myself in going, damn.. really? no.. can't be.. or maybe it is? .. I don't know.. On reunion day. I woke up at 6am to help my mom in law make our reunion luncheon..she also pressed me to try for a new one this year.. I just went.. "hmn..."" and she said.. "you know, CJ wants another.." *sigh* and of course we were "blessed" with many many greetings over the new year with "Happy New Year... 3rd one this year yes?? Boy??"

Oh god, please help. Its almost a conspiracy.

Anyway, it got to a point where just some nights ago I felt my blood pressure drop and felt dizzy and it was followed by a sharp prolonged feeling of nausea. I sat down and went. This is NOT IT. Cannot be so zhun while CJ fluttered around, tentatively and gingerly holding me. I made a mental note to buy a test kit the next morning and just get it over with.

The morning came and for some strange reason, my mother in law was constantly with me when we were buying stuff at the groceries and the medical hall. I didn't want her to see it and couldn't do it without her seeing so I put it off to later in the afternoon.

Afternoon came and I went to the bathroom to pee before I went down and I let out a cheer. CJ came in and went what?!?!? I said.

"my period came. BWHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.... " never had I felt so relieved in seeing blood.

As with every time we have a phantom pregnancy encounter which comes out negative. I have a sense of 80% relief and 20% disappointment. Somehow I believe that it would actually balance out if I actually was pregnant into acceptance and apprehension. Relief that things would still be the same and I can still dream about having a fabulous body by the time I hit 30. Relieved that I could still have a chance to attempt to choose the gender of my next child with natural methods rather than leaving it to random selection if I did come through with deciding firmly to go ahead with my number 3. Disappointed that it just didn't go through and that its almost like an inevitable and if it should happen. Perhaps it should happen when I still have the energy. I'd hate to be old, cracklin and holding a newborn. Why I say inevitable is because. I know he's fertile. So am I. We have been at it unprotected and without any regard for cycles other than the fact that we don't do it while I'm bleeding. Inevitable? Perhaps. Playing with fire.. totally. Gonna get burnt. Likely. I guess I'll let nature take it's course. But please at least give me the opportunity to get this weight thing off my chest before I turn into a dairy cow once more....

Laughing is good for you.

Before you watch this clip, please turn on your speakers LOUD and enjoy. I love it and at the very least after watching it a couple of times already, never failed to put a smile to my face and I hope it does the same for you too!

“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.”

- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.



I recall when Lauren was still a baby. She had exactly the same laughter and it was mighty contagious. It would brighten anyone's day and it brightened alot of mine when we were at home together. Just listening to it made my day. She's since lost that kind of baby laughter now that she's turning 7 but she's still a darling.

Why you should laugh more? Did you know that babies who laugh more are more socially competent and have more social skills.. this baby would have wonderful social skills when he gets older. :) Did you laugh alot when you were a baby?

I took the following from another site. www.ririanproject.com

1. Manage Your Hormones:

Laughter reduces the level of stress hormones like cortisol, epinephrine, adrenaline, dopamine and growth hormone. It also increases the level of health-enhancing hormones like endorphins, and neurotransmitters. Laughter increases the number of antibody-producing cells and enhances the effectiveness of T cells. All this means a stronger immune system, as well as fewer physical effects of stress.

2. Nice Internal Workout:

A good belly laugh exercises the diaphragm, contracts the abs and even works out the shoulders, leaving muscles more relaxed afterward. It even provides a good workout for the heart.

3. Physical Release:

Have you ever felt like you “have to laugh or I’ll cry”? Have you experienced the cleansed feeling after a good laugh? Laughter provides a physical and emotional release.

4. Positive Frame Of Mind:

Laughter brings the focus away from anger, guilt, stress and negative emotions in a than other mere distractions. It will make you happy and put you in a positive frame of mind.

5. Change Your Perspective:

Sudies show that our response to stressful events can be altered by whether we view something as a ‘threat’ or a ‘challenge’. Humor can give us a more lighthearted perspective and help us view events as ‘challenges’, thereby making them less threatening and more positive.

6. Social Benefits Of Laughter:

Laughter connects us with others. Also, laughter is contagious, so if you bring more laughter into your life, you can most likely help others around you to laugh more, and realize these benefits as well. By elevating the mood of those around you, you can reduce their stress levels, and perhaps improve the quality of social interaction you experience with them, reducing your stress level even more!

What’s even better is that the more you smile, the more others will too. Says psychologist Dr. David Lewis, “Seeing a smile creates what is termed as a ‘halo’ effect, helping us to remember other happy events more vividly, feel more optimistic, more positive and more motivated.”

7. Fight Illness Better:

People who are optimistic (and these are the people who are out there smiling!) have stronger immune systems and are actually able to fight off illness better than pessimists.

“The research is very clear,” says Christopher Peterson, Ph.D, a University of Michigan professor who’s been studying optimism’s link to health for over two decades, “This is not some social science generalization. There is a link between optimistic attitudes and good health. It has been measured in a variety of ways. Overall, we have found that optimistic people are healthier. Their biological makeup is different. They have a more robust immune system.”

8. Live Longer:

According to a study published in the November 2004 issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry, elderly optimistic people, those who expected good things to happen (rather than bad things), were less likely to die than pessimists.

In fact, among the 65- to 85-year-old study participants, those who were most optimistic were 55 percent less likely to die from all causes than the most pessimistic people. What’s more, after researchers adjusted the results for age, smoking status, alcohol consumption, physical activity and other measures of health, the optimists were 71 percent less likely to die than the pessimists!

9. It Feels Like Eating 2,000 Chocolate Bars

That’s right - according to The British Dental Health Foundation, a smile gives the same level of stimulation as eating 2,000 chocolate bars. The results were found after researchers measured brain and heart activity in volunteers as they were shown pictures of smiling people and given money and chocolate.

Dr. Nigel Carter, chief executive of the Foundation, pointed out, “We have long been drawing attention to the fact that smiling increases happiness both in yourself and those around you, so it is good to receive the backing of this scientific research … A healthy smile can improve your confidence, help you make friends and help you to succeed in your career … “

10. It Costs Absolutely Nothing

The ancient Chinese were a wise lot - wise in the ways of the world; and they had a proverb that you and I ought to cut out and paste inside our hats. It goes like this:

“A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.”

Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressure from his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parents or children, a smile can help him realize that all is not hopeless - that there is joy in the world.

So what are you waiting for? Go ahead … Smile! …and again!

Ding Ding Ding! One more down!

This is an update to my weightloss record. I weighed in today and I'm one more KG down! ... That makes it a total loss of 5kg to date. I'm mighty pleased with myself too. This has been the longest time I have ever been on a controlled diet and I think I'm getting used to it.

Carbs just don't give me the satisfaction that it used to give me and sends me into an instant AFS mode (after food syndrome) even before I finish the meal. NOT GOOD. Its shocking how fast it hits me and I look like I'm on drugs with me looking all wacked and blur.

I'm trying to adjust the way I think about what I eat into stuff that just makes me feel good and those that are just empty useless pieces of stuff that I'm stuffing into my mouth. It makes it easier to just take a bite of something when there is a craving and just say, Enough and move on to healthier food that actually lifts my mood like fruits and salad.. YES.. salad.. I'm beginning to love the roast chicken and salad combo ALOT. I'd probably get sick of it sometime but for now, I'd choose it anyday bc its almost guilt free and you actually feel energised after eating it and not sleepy.

I also went back to the gym yesterday morning after a 2 year hiatus. When I stepped in, it all seemed so familiar.. the smell of the gym and the machines came back to me. I met up with Cher, an old buddy and great lady who obliged me in retaining her membership so that we can go together... *thank you!! muaks* It was very enjoyable. Good company. Familiar place. Good Feeling all around.

I went through my usual rounds of doing a little cycling for 10 mins to warm up.. then onto my cross trainer which went on for 40 minutes. 40 minutes was the time that I used to do when I went regularly and I was surprised that I could return to it with just my first day back. I suppose the jogging and stretching that CJ had me doing worked! I finished that and went onto some stretching, crunching and leg lifting. It took only a short while after for my body to start to protest.. and protest it did. I could feel the wobbly feeling and I started to tremble. Perhaps I should try to curb my enthusiasm in working back into my routine. We went back to the locker room and decided to go for a steam bath.. That. Felt. Lovely. I'm looking forward to a spa visit next week with Cher just to destress and get a good massage off my aching body... Somehow my legs decided to protest further in the evening and let out wracking aches on my thighs.. CJ said it was normal bc I didn't work them much.. it doesn't deter me from going back though.. I'm determined and once I hit the healthy weight range of 50-55kg. I'm going for a photoshoot and splash it out here over my blog for all you lovely people to see. :)

Here's to ending my 20s gloriously. Wish me luck.

I am woman - Kiss (Korean)

I came across this music video years ago and it brought tears to my eyes when I saw it. It was amazingly sad to me and has not failed to touch my heart since. I'd like to share it here for everyone to enjoy...

The Moon is my Heart...

For those who are familiar with this old song by Teresa Teng, there is a very nice version that I would like to share with everyone. This Korean guy sings it very well and oh so softly too... so to those who like Chinese songs.. *heck I can't understand one bit but I still think it's lovely...* Enjoy.

Imagine me without you...

CJ found a gorgeous song by Jaci Velasquez and sent it to me... I think its a lovely song. There is one version that someone superimposed the song onto a Final Fanstasy clip.. her website is here http://www.jacivelasquez.com/

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You're the only love I'll need

In my life You're all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You

Chorus:
Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without You there to see me through
Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible
Because of You, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without You

When You caught me I was falling
You're love lifted me back on my feet
It was like You heard me calling
And You rush to set me free
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You

Chorus 2X
I can't imagine me without You

Join me on a journey...

I want you to meet someone special. Someone amazing. If you can get someone to read out what I have written here to you while you imagine this, it will work better and to a better effect...

Please close your eyes throughout this journey with me as we meet a special someone together. Act out those that I have (placed in a bracket) as these would be actual physical actions.

(Close your eyes and do not open them till this is all over) and join me on a journey.

Relax your body and imagine a sky with fluffy white clouds..

Imagine yourself, 3 years from now at a time where everything seems to be perfect.

You are walking down a quiet road on a cool sunny day with the sweet wind blowing into your hair. Your hair dances in the wind.

There is a very comfortable amount of money in your bank. Everything has been paid for.

Bills are all paid. Money is not a problem. Everything just perfect.

You're feeling healthy and strong. You're feeling loved. If you have children, they're doing great too! Everyone is just perfect. Healthy and Happy...

Your partner also loves you. Its a great time.

Imagine walking somemore just enjoying the day without a care in the world down that road. Everything just seems to be in the right place.. everything you've wanted, you already have.

You look up into the sky and see a beautiful sky. Birds are singing.

The sun is bright and the wind is cool against your skin.

Walk down somemore and look to your right. You see a field of flowers. Its is a beautiful field of flowers. Take a deep breathe and smell the sweet flowers. It calms you.

You decide to take a detour instead of walking down the road and walk into the field of flowers. It is such a perfect and beautiful place to be.

You stroll into the field of flowers and you look around and at your right in the far distance you see a few houses. You walk towards the houses.

As you approach, they look bigger and familiar to you. You around and a sense of recognition washes over you. You have been here before.

You walk up to the house and open the door and step in. Look around. Its a beautiful house and deep inside, you know. You have been here before. You have been here.

You walk through the house feeling like you are home and walk out the back door to reveal a beautiful garden.

In the distance, you see a person. That person seems to be coming towards you but the funny thing about it is that it seems like the person is getting smaller as it approaches.

With each step the person takes, it gets younger and younger.. and smaller too. Till a point where the person is 20 feet away from you and you notice that the person has turned into a child.

The child looks familiar you wonder and the child approaches somemore.
By the time the child is 1 feet away from you, you look down and realised has transformed into a baby.

You take a few steps closer. (Squat or sit to reach down to position yourself to be face to face with this baby.)

You (reach out) and tilt the baby's chin to you and you realise...

The baby is you.

The innocent little one that you are looking at is you and you look at it in amazement.

Look at its eyes. Its nose and its mouth. Its you, you when you were a baby.

At that point, your heart fills with love as you both stare at eachother and into eachother's eyes. The baby doesn't talk but looks at you with innocent eyes. It is at the beginning of its life, your life and has many experiences to go through and ups and downs to feel.

Reach out and hold the baby and start talking to the baby. This is you. The baby that will be living your life. This is your chance to tell the baby all that you can. Now.

Tell the baby that everything will be alright. Tell the baby of the good things that will happen. Tell the baby of the bad things that will happen. Tell the baby all you can to reassure that this life, his/her life will be great and everything will be alright.

Tell the baby your dreams and your fears and that you love him.

Tell the baby you love him. You love yourself.

(Reach out with your arms, with your eyes still closed) and pull the baby into your arms and hug it. Hug it with all the love you can feel and say, "I love you... everything will be alright" The baby clasps on to your neck with the strength it can muster.

A short while later, you release your arms and you realise that the baby is still holding on to your neck in its warm embrace and you hug it again one more time.

You lean forward and the baby lets go and starts to walk away. (Say goodbye). Your heart feels warm and you look on waving good bye (wave your hands with your eyes still closed). You can feel happiness, not sadness that the baby is moving away. Its on its journey of life. Your life and there is so much to offer. It walks further and further till is disappears...

Clouds reappear again and you close your eyes and a cool wind blows around you.

(Open your eyes at this time and say, "everything is going to be alright")

And yes... my friends... everything is going to be alright... thank you for joining me on this journey to meet this special person.

This special person is you. And everything will be great.

1 more kg down!

We weighed in last night and I'm pleased to see that I'm another KG down! That makes it a total of 4kg down so far. Its not obvious but I can see it on the scales and its good enough for me. *that image above is not me btw..*

Thank you to all my friends who have cheered me on, dropped me smses and to those who have been mentally supporting me in this challenge to drop off all 40kg. I'm 10% into this challenge and I will not let myself and all of you down this time.

Thank you for those who have gone in search of food that I can eat and for not making me feel bad that I'm depriving you of all those sinful eats when you're out with me. You are loved.

Thank you for CJ who has been great so far with his support and detailed explanation of how different diets work for us, he's lost 6kg already.. *envy* but its without a doubt that its also because he has been working out alot more than I have! :)

GAMBATTE!! which means keep it up! Fight on! and I will! ...

To the group of moms on my moms board who has been cheering me on.. thank you. I'm so very touched. *cheering - jia you jia you jia you!* you gals are precious.

Thank you. You all have my heart.