Updates and more..

Update! I've broken 88kg! FINALLY! Phew! I'm finally one more kg down. I'm now 87kg! My body is constantly in some kind of plateau recently.. first one whole week of 90kg and it got me extremely frustrated and then 88kg.. argh! Its been almost a week too! And finally, I stepped on the scale and I finally see 87... phew! ... wow its really difficult!

I'm definitely not weighing myself tonight after all the food that I scoffed down my gullet.. specially prepared carb free food prepared by 2 absolutely lovely ladies and yours truly... There was so much of each food that we started eating at 115 and by 430pm. We were still eating. *albeit a little slowler by the hour lah*

We had whole KONG (container) of grilled chicken wings with an assortment of 6 dipping sauces. (Juliana even labelled them and put them in little containers! So considerate of her! There were mayonnaise, balsamic vinegar, horseradish sauce, soya sauce, fish sauce and Thai chili sauce.), agar agar jellies, alot of coke lite, I made kebabs with chipolata sausage, fried fish with lemon juice, chicken cheesy sausage and eggroll with cheese.

To top these all off, we had the most delicious casserole EVER. And who said being on Atkins was a bad thing. It was sooooooooooo GOOD OK!

Cheese lovers would fall in love with her for this dish.

(my artist sketch impression of prawns.. looks almost real, y'think?)

Diana (God bless her) made the most heavenly prawn,tuna, fresh mushroom, cream cheese casserole, topped with cheddar and mozzarella cheese. It looked absolutely sinful and it tasted almost orgasmic. The prawns she chose were HUGE! Now THAT IS WHAT U CALL PRAWNS okay, not shrimps.. PRAWNS! Are you sure u didn't cook Lobster instead!?.

One cooked piece was already 3/4 palm size (can u imagine when it wasn't cooked! It must have been huge!) and she filled the whole casserole with them. *drooools* To whoever didn't get to taste this today, MISSED OUT MAN! She complimented her cheesy dish with fresh lettuce by the side.. which we all picked out off periodically.

I believe moley will have pictures of the food on her blog. I don't know when she will update it or if she will soon. Just check in there if you wanna check out the food. It was just good. It was only the 4 adults and the 4 kids but it was lovely conversation all around. The company was good.

The kids OBVIOUSLY had fun. They had fruit gummies and want want rice crackers. They had their face painted. They played till our play yard imploded with toys. The bubble machine was on and there were balloons all around. They skipped around and drew pictures with large pieces of paper and crayons.. such simplicity and pure happiness on their part..

I ate till I almost exploded. *if I did explode, I won't be here writing this. It was almost my whole week intake of food in just one day*. Diana may have exploded though. Hahahaha, you may have to go on Atkins with me, moley. At least for this week.

It was a lovely saturday afternoon. I liked it. Alot.

Would you believe it?

This is me above. Now at 88kg on the 25th of September 2007.

This is me. Around June 2006 at 100kg.

One proof that Atkins works in a month since we started in the beginning of September 07.. with 7kg down only. I've moved a total of 12kg from my whopping 100kg earlier this year during CNY and now I still have 33kg more to go! My face looks smaller too! You think?! Whooooooo.... at 88kg. I'm still a really big lady by all counts but I was sooo much bigger before this! Aiyoooh! Sooo unhealthy!

You would not believe your eyes.... this is me! In my old pants that I wore not long ago! Not long ago meaning only a month ago! It was a fitting outfit and I cannot believe that I was such a whale! Why didn't anyone highlight this to me?

*grumble everyone very polite hor.... grumble*

But anyway.. check it out! 7kg down and me in a whale of a pants!

I'm amazed. *doing a Royal Queen wave* I must thank my Hubby CJ for his support and guidance.. may we reach our goals soon. *Love love* Thank you to my galfriends who are supporting me behind with their cheering too.. I love u all!
More to come as we move along this journey...

I'm hungry...

Its 1pm and I'm sitting here. HUNGRY. I'm soooooo damn bloody hungry and am trying my darndest to resist opening the fridge AGAIN and walking into the kitchen AGAIN to open my cupboards and stare at the packs and cans there.

The diet is doing so fabulously well for me, I've already lost 7kg. And I've never lost 7kg at one shot before IN MY LIFE. Esp over such a SHORT period of time.. It has only been slightly over 20+ days! I know I'd lose more but times like these really make me fantasize and not about sex! but FOOD! ..... steaming cheese covered chicken teriyaki pasta... curry chicken and crispy baguette... chocolate covered croissants... double cheese burgers and fries... rendang with yellow rice and veggies...cheese cake.. california maki! omg.. I'm dying....

I'm contemplating on going for a jog and maybe I'd divert my thoughts away.. but its 1am in the morning! Wait kena attacked by some weirdo.. I'm just a street away from Geylang after all... aaargghh!! Cannot.. Must sleep. Must Stop thinking of sinking my teeth into that cheesy pizza with spicy drummlets and zinger burger... ahh!!! Its not stopping!!!

My thoughts are running wild like a buffet spread of an intercontinental buffet and my mouth is constantly salivating just thinking about all this.. I must resist. I must. I've been pouring cup and cup of water and chugging them down and hoping that I'd get full enough to forget all the swirling food thoughts that are running through my head. Doesnt. Work. *aaargh!!*

Someone help me.. please tell me that you can see that all my effort is not in vain.. do I seem at LEAST a LITTLE Slimmer? Even a little? Its seems that only my jeans are talking to me.. trying to speak to me in their denim language on holding on to my ass fats.. NOOO!! *cling and slowly sliding off and make indent marks on my skin in the attempt to hold on to my butt to remind me that they once held in that whale of an ass with whole denimhearted support.

Oh god... I'm so hungry.. I could cook an egg! But I ALREADY ATE 4 EGGS earlier in the day! ... Cholesterol overload ah! And I believe that my MIL and CJ might think I'm crazy cooking in the wee hours of the morning... I can't sleep! The diet's got me all wacked up.. for someone who thinks sleep is the best thing other than multiple orgams.. which I'd gladly wake up for... I CAN'T SLEEEEEEEEPPPPP....

And whats worse than a person who can't sleep? A hungry person who can't sleep and is on a diet like Atkins. Kill me now or knock me out at least so that I can really dream of eating proper food instead of being able to physically walk to the kitchen and stare at them....

I'm wondering if in this state, I might actually end up sleepwalking and preparing food and eating it.. It won't be my fault, I was sleepwalking! ... argh... negative thoughts.. must persist. I must slim down... cannot do my diet half fucked.. but I'M HUNGRY!

*pondering if I should wake CJ up and complain... he might be pissed enough to wack me to sleep and then I'd really be knocked out for the evening.... sigh*

Ok I'm going to try to close my eyes now...

Fooooood... Dear God.. please give me the strength!

The wierdest dreams...

Have u ever had those types of dreams where it was just so sad that you cried your heart out? Only to realise that you are REALLY crying in real life in your sleep? Those kinds of dreams are so torturous because they really make my heart feel like breaking.

I used to have those dreams every couple of months.. before, most of them would be because CJ would be betraying me with some slut out there.. I guess it shows my insecurity deep down..

But recently its been different.. I've been having it almost every week! Its so emotionally draining because it affects me alot for the rest of the day! Maybe its the diet but it really drains me having dreams like that.. I wake up and I'm sobbing OUT LOUD and tears are streaming down my face...

Last week's dream for what I can remember of it now was of me and Eirian, my younger baby... She was in some kind of van. It was like some kind of ambulance kind of van but it was moving and the van doors weren't closed! She was injured and alone and had broken bones of some sort and she was crying out for me and crying in pain and her legs had blood. She was reaching out for me. For some idiotic reason, I was in another vehicle and it was being driven away and no matter how I tried to move the vehicle back or jump off or run towards her, I can't! I must get to her, I must! And I CAN'T! What the hell!

A mother would understand the kind of pain u feel when your children are hurt and calling for you. You would kill just to get to them and when you can't. You're SUPERBLY FUCKING FRUSTRATED! I was crying like a mad woman and screaming, Eiri! I'm coming! Mommy's Coming! Coming! And damn .... in the dream I just can't reach her.

As usual, I woke up spasming in my sleep and tears streaming all over my face. I looked over with my teary eyes and see Eirian sleeping on my bed again.. she pottered over in the middle of the night to sleep with me from her room. She has been doing that alot recently but we don't mind. I pulled her close and went back to sleep, glad that it was just a dream...

Dream two came to me the day before.. for what I can remember.. my sister in law was pregnant.. (**ya lah, Serene.. I know you're laughing about this....it was a dream ok? U sure u're not?? hahhhahaa**) and we were going to see our gynae. We have the same gynae who delivered all our children... we headed out to his clinic and for some reason, when we reached there, we were told that we had made an appointment to see the doctor for an ABORTION! I was totally shocked, why??! and the worst part came was... we both went in together and it turns out that we went to see him together but Dr. Lai asked me.. so Pam.. how are you feeling?

I asked.. me? I'm fine! But you should be wondering more for Serene right? The gynae then said, why? You're the one thats PREGNANT! ... *shocks* Huh? What a wierd twist.. I'M the pregnant one? How can it be? And we've set an appointment for an abortion? Huh??!

I was totally confused and started crying. Somehow, in the dream the decision to remove the baby was a final one and it was out of my hands to decide. It was already decided and I had to do the abortion. Yet I had so much conflicting feelings.. How can this be? Why is this happening? I'm pregnant and aborting? Why? Do I want the baby? What if I want the baby? Why? Why!

I cried and sobbed so hard and screamed and cried somemore. It felt like my heart was breaking. My heart... It was just so painful.. it felt so unreal the kind of sorrow I felt.. like the pain you'd feel when you realise that someone dear just passed on.. Oh god.. if a heart can break. It did and I woke up with CJ tapping my arm asking me, why I'm crying so pitifully... *sigh* Pain pain... it brings me back to a letter I read once from a little girl who got aborted and wrote to her mom.. of course this is fictional but don't you think the feelings are genuine.. Children are so precious.. if you lose any.. it'll be on your heart and mind forever... after all, they're yours.

I hope these dreams stop.. I'm feeling tired.

Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now... I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existence. I was in a dark, yet
comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you.

Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean Monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me.

The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, help me please! Mommy, help me." Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain i can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me.

I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't, all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to
you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand.

And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me away to a wonderful place. Then I was happy. I asked the
angel what was the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, for I know how it feels." I don't know what abortion is, I guess that's the name of the monster.

I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't;the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I
did. Please be careful.

Love,

Your Baby Girl

Update Again!

I'm down one more Kg! .. 88kg! Waaahhh laaauuuuuu!!! *Pam doing the happy dance*

A plateau broken!

Update!

Finally! I've broken 90kg and have dropped to 89kg. It was a plateau of over a week!!!
Next aim.. 80kg.. *muse*

Eirian is mine too!

Lauren is mine!

A flurry of pictures

Its been all talk (yes yes, alot of talk) and no see recently from me so I've decided to add a post of random pictures for entertainment purposes... :) Enjoy!

Would you believe that its really hard to get a nice picture of my hubby together with me with my phone? Over 15 pictures and this is the best we can come up with... *doink!*Oh the eyebags! How sinful... I need sleep! And he looks scary!

Lauren at The Beach Hut for breakfast buffet.
I'm wondering if she rather have boogers or bacon here...

This is what happens when a person like me gets hold of face crayons.. she goes to experiment with her children's perfect skin... Up there is Lauren, and down there is, Eirian. OMG its a ... errr.. errr... fairy? Bug? err... Monster? *note to self, must practice more*

Eirian!

And this is what happens when you put me near on a plate of fruits on the table.. I become one of them.. but somehow.. I don't look very appetising... *gulp*

And this is my baby sister, Alexandra. This picture's dark because we were in a dark place with a my crappy phone camera. My face ain't that huge either as its a matter of perspective! I was nearer to my handheld handphone. She just turned 22 this August.. and my my my, how time flies.. she's a woman already... Apart from being a full time student doing her degree, she's also a spinning instructor at California Fitness.. so if you're in her class, say hi for me!

And this lady over here is my other sister.. my 2nd sister.. the middle child between Alex and me.. she's Jacqueline.. she's a certified pet groomer and a gym freak (u won't believe how many classes and how often she goes to the gym ok ) and currently living in the Philippines with my mom.

And this of course is, Diana or molemole. I've introduced her in one my my previous posts.. working on an event together with the Singapore Police Force. I can't believe how "awake" we both looked at 730am in the morning! I like this picture too! 730am can! I'm usually zombie at that time.

This little handsome boy is my one and only nephew! I'm an Aunty or so he lovingly calls his "Kim Kim"... only he can call me Kim Kim ok! This is Gareth and he just turned 1 years old on the 10th of September! Happy Birthday sweetheart!

These 3 are my in laws.. my sister in law, Serene (Cj's sister)... Mark.. her husband/my brother in law and Gareth.. I love these 3 people.. These 3 with my family and my MIL makes 8 and its a perfect number for our cosy little family. :)

And this.. is my Mother in law! U can call her Cat! Short for Catherine.. (thats Gareth when he was born!) She's a really really nice lady and I love her to bits too! I'm one of the rare ones who actually get along with my mother in law really well.

Lastly.. a picture of a rose that I drew some years back... I have always prided myself that I can draw pictures and still life on sight with relative ease but it mostly photocopies itself in my brain and my hand spits out close to the same image. But free drawing where you ask to "draw me a cat?" and if the cat is not right in front of me at that present moment, you would get a warped image that probably looks more like a hamster than a cat.

I've always liked this drawing and I hope you enjoy it too. :)

Facebook anyone?

Holy Cow! I'm so hooked on the new Facebook website. It beats friendster hands down in terms of having proper contacts linked to you. And everyone knows.. ITS NOT WHAT U KNOW, ITS WHO U KNOW!

All friendster does is link up wierdos to me and more people that I seriously cannot be bothered to keep in touch with... Its so teeny boppy! Urgh! If you're on my friendster and reading this... I probably don't mean u because the rest who I can't be bothered with, don't even bother coming here to read anyway.

But facebook... oh! Finally proper people are there! People that I want to know! Professionals. Actual adults. Not horny teenagers or even horny married men... *GO AWAY! URGH! If only I could tell your wives, u would be so dead* But Facebook, its so fun! My profile almost looks like a Mediacorp profile with all my friends, actors, DJs and newscasters.. and most of them, I really know personally...plus some new people that I feel would be good to know.. and perhaps even be beneficial to my business somehow down the road some day. Finally now. ALL IN ONE DAMNED PLACE.

Thank you facebook! While now I'm happily super poking everyone and sending them fortunes and throwing sheep, I'm still waiting for some reciprocal response from most of them... The reception since I've joined has been good so far. Getting to know new people is always interesting.

In the meantime, whilst I have dropped some kgs... I seem to be plateauing at 90kg. *$#%$^*&%^ (grumble grumble grumble). The only reprieve I have right now is that my pants are ALL loose but it'll still take another 10kg before they finally drop off my body. I'll get there when I get there and I don't intend to be able to fit into my current pair of jeans by next year.

Down 5kg from 95kg two weeks ago.. and a total of 10kg from a 100kg me in February 2007.. *kicking myself for stopping my regime for about 4 months* its been a gradual loss but I've been working out so much recently and doing a serious switch of diet, I'm expecting results! I hate a plateaued weight and would be glad again to see the scales move once more.. wish me luck!

A teacher I am not...

I would reiterate that I don't like children other than my own.. and maybe a handful of close friend's kids and my nephew. Its a wonder why I'm in the profession of that I am in handling children when I think that everyone elses kids are just bratty monsters...

My girls sure have their monster times amongst others.. where tantrums flare and things just seem to get out of hand... voices rise, things start flying around and little fair bums start wearing the marks of either my hand or the cane. It would be at times like this that it really brings out the unglam me. Where my eyes bulge out of their sockets, my blood pressure rise, my emotions run high and my hand start to smart out of all the spanking.

I try my best never to touch their faces.. only their bottoms, legs or the most their arms/hands. A spank is to remind them, not to hurt them. I don't touch their face and I don't slap their faces as I don't want to break their spirit. '

Oh but there are times where my hands fly and smack them right in the face due to outright defiance and almost a second after, I see the hurt in their eyes and my heart breaks. Discipline is indeed hard to accomplish but such a necessity. I'm glad that most of the time, my girls are still good girls.. and I can only pray that we are doing the right things in bringing them up. I must try harder not to get too worked up when these kind of situations arise.. I must try harder to be more understanding and patient.

There are other times too that set my blood pressure rising and what people lovingly term as PUKE BLOOD moments. Its when I sit down and revise homework with Lauren. I know my mother in law and sister in law can totally relate. I can only dread and hope that Eirian would pick up academics faster when she reaches the primary level.

Lauren has a way of firing up my mad fuel when homework gets done. From quite a loudly boisterous girl normally, she becomes unusually quiet and gives me a superbly GONG (meaning dumb) look whenever I ask a question. I seriously hope that she gives that face only to me and not to the teachers in school or they would be quite alarmed at her sudden DUH!

A potato suddenly forms in her throat and anything she would read sounds like the potato is stuck in her throat. All I could think of is that its a nervous reflex and a stress reaction to studying! OMG, she's only in primary one and still has like over 15 more years of school to go through... she's gotta snap out of it and thinking about it totally stresses me out.

As a parent, I'm pressurised in this hot house of a country to make my child excel. If the pressures of this country had its way, I can say good bye to my children having a "happy childhood" only to replace it with memories of a psychotic looking mother (aka me) breathing fire down your back just because you couldn't spell COOPERATE.

When I was in grade one, I don't remember needing so spell such long words and she has it EVERY MONDAY! A whole list of 10-12 LONG WORDS. Argh! I feel her frustration but she's gotta do it to keep up with her class.. and thats not all.. she has a whole list of CHINESE spelling every friday! God help my darling girl... please give her the strength to absorb to the best she can...

Now back to teaching her, my recent problem that I realise is that she's just NOT TRYING! She's afraid to get the answers wrong but not even attempting to answer a question means that its 100% going to be wrong.. = no marks = zero = fail! ARGHH!!! I've been giving her a pep talk constantly these couple of days.. TRY lauren try!! Just try.. even if its wrong, at least I know which ones you don't know?? Rather than not trying and I'm not sure if you know?! You know what I mean?!? Hahaha.. I know its sounding like a rant but I'm just frustrated.. JUST FREAKING TRY!!!!!... *fanning my face, I feel it turning purple even as I type!*

I cannot go into the teaching profession or I'll have to giro my monthly pay directly to Woodbridge for my weekly counselling sessions. Someone give me some tips to teach her how to just try.. or I might just go insane just helping her with homework. For someone like me who FAILED math, I'm actually teaching her how to do her math and I still find it unbelievable of the level that they're giving her. Whilst I believe that she's a smart girl, what the heck are the schools giving little 6-7 year old children!

For example, just when they're on the topic of ONLY ADDITION and SUBTRACTION. (Do not even attempt this question with DIVISION bc they haven't learnt that yet). How do you explain to a 6-7 year old how to solve this question? While we can easily find the answer, how do u explain it to her without having involuntary facial spasms and a mini brain attack just figuring it out?

Ie. Bear + Bear = 24
Monkey + Bear + Bear = 38

Ans: Bear = ______ and Monkey = ______.

It turns out that this is the schools "so called" higher level working sums. And the way its solved is that the child must realise that bear + bear is the same number because its the same character and this means its 2 exactly the same numbers to add up to 24. And how they realise this sum is that they play around with figures, ie, 8 + 8 = 16? wrong. 10 + 10 = 20? No no no, thats wrong.. 11 + 11 = 22? nO NO NO ... and it goes on and on till the child figures it out at 12 + 12 = 24. And she then moves on to the next part with the Monkey.. ARGH!! ... this kind of working sums take FOREVER to figure out for such a young child. Why do they subject this kind of torture on little kids like that?!?

Anyway the journey continues... there will be times where I'm ready to poke my eyes out with my pencil, reach over and shake the living daylights out of her whilst having my veins pop out of my forehead in attempt to escape my skull. I close my eyes and breathe... and open them again to see my little girl... just trying to keep up with the pressures of the world and I just sigh. My girls growing up and we're in it together.

Time for me to go back and sharpen pencils for tomorrow's journey.. kids.. can't live with them, can't live without them :) And because they are mine.. I still love them anyway.

Once upon a friendship...

You would think that in a world of billions of people, and in a country of even 4 million people. People of all walks of life streaming all around you that you would have hundreds of friends? I've noticed that anyone I asked had less than a handful of true friends.. and I'm not any different?

Would it mean that I'm not a friendly person that I do not have many friends? Does it mean that people do not like me enough not to WANT to be my friend? Am I just lazy to go out and grow and maintain a friendship with more people? Is it not any priority for me to have people want to be in my life? I don't know.. for those that I have grown to care about.. you know who you are.. I may hear from you daily.. or I may hear from you months or even years at a time.. but you know you have a special place in my heart.. I'm going to talk about 3 very special people and here goes...

There are some people that have grown with me and may not be in Singapore even.. like Phoebe.. I call her Feebs. She lives in Japan now with her diplomat husband. What a lucky duck... I'm so happy for her for finding her happiness. We were in the same primary and secondary school together, once stayed just houses away from each other in our teens. We've cried and laughed together so many times, its uncountable. We shared relationship woes, growing pains and happy times. She is the ONLY primary school friend that I have left and I absolutely still love her to bits even if she's halfway across the globe.. Feebs.. call me when you're back in Singapore next.. we've had alot to catch up on.. :) Love ya..

There are other people who shared a life with me for some time.. people like Preetha... whom I lovingly call Pree.. we worked together when we were still studying at IAS/CMA. We worked there full time doing marketing of the school and their courses all whilst completing our studies. I eventually left them once I completed my triple marketing/advertising/design diplomas and she left them soon after to pursue her passion. Her passion to be a DJ.. it was a hellavalot of procrastinating on her part and it killed me to see her drag her way oh so slowly to something that she so dearly wanted in her life.. It brought me to tears to hear her over the airwaves at her first show recently.

I jumped and I screamed and I was just happy that she did it. It was a great first step to something that we spent hours talking about together..from just a dream to finally being there.. being heard by hundreds of thousands of people... She finally got off her ass and did something to move her nearer to her dream and that. I'm happy. I'm so very happy for her. Do tune in to radio 91.3FM on Saturday nights request shows with Jane Doe ( which is Pree! of course!!! ) and Elliott Danker.. Call in and give your support! Listen live online if you need to. Tune in! This girl is going somewhere and the only way is up!

Another person that has recently made her appearance is a lady named Diana... aka mole mole.. It was uncanny how when we started to talk, it was like we've known eachother for a very long... long.. time.. It was such a hit! She has two very lovely children and is one super chio (good looking) lady.. She's absolutely HOT! If I was a guy, she would totally get my wolf whistle. This is a friendship that I believe can go on for a very long time and hopefully, Quite alot has happened that I've thoroughly enjoyed. We first met when we selected her to go for a spa review together.. she blogged about it here. We later went on doing other stuff together.. my girls absolutely LOVE spending time with her kids. The husbands, Michael and CJ need some time to warm up to each other though.. must be man thing. She joined us as crew at our NSPAM event and our Ratatouille event. Super efficient can!

We both brought the whole family to East Coast to cycle... that was where it brought the whiner out of Lauren! The moment she sat on her chosen bicycle.. Lauren complained about her arms dropping off and no energy level to keep on cycling but she still WANTED to go on.. URGH!

We went to check out The Arena one evening.. she blogged about it here too... We spent time at Kallang MacDonalds celebrating Tristen's birthday. Tristen, her youngest son is now two! And most recently, she got invited to do a dinner review for a new classy eaterie called Eleven and she invited me to go too.. the food was FWAH! not bad... her review can be found here. It was the only time I've broken my diet these couple of weeks *albeit with the help of a couple of carbo blockers* and it wasn't a total smash either.. the food was high in protein and I didnt go for seconds for their oh-so-delicious mash potato... *restraint pam! restraint!* Do patronise this place, esp if you need a classy but cosy, affordable time with a close friend or loved one.

To all the 3 ladies above.. you 3 have a special place in my heart. This blogpost is dedicated to you 3. Please always keep in touch. Life is too short to keep losing friends and you all will always be in my mind. Sure.. I have some that I know that has special significance to me.. people like Sandra who's children are both 2 weeks older than both my own respectively.. people like Chermaine who's daughter Danielle is our God Daughter... (I'm wondering what kind of stupid godparents we are to Danielle. We hardly spend time with her at all! I should be banned from being a god mother to anyone and I still owe her an ice-cream! OMG. Danielle, come out soon! We got ice-cream to go for!)... people like my SIL, Serene (I mean, who can say that they are actually really good friends with YOUR SISTER IN LAW! except a rare few.. and I'm happy to say that I am one of those rare few... ). These 3 amongst other people who care about me too. At least I know.. when I die.. all you guys will cry for me right? The sad thing about losing friends is that you forget all about them and all the time spent together was all like a waste of time. Unless it was such an experience that helped to make you who who are today.. why choose to spend time with someone who you will forget and won't exist for you only years later... I'm getting old. It would be good to be sitting around when I'm 70(if I last that long) and say that our friendship has lasted my lifetime.. :)

From past to present...

I'm such a horrible blogger.. you can't even call me a blogger because I take forever to update my blog! I'm so sorry for those sweethearts who keeps on loggin in my page and still seeing the same ole one day after day..life goes on and it has been going on for a while for me... what? you may ask.. so much and you haven't shared?

Gosh.. if only I can remember to blog that down each time something happens... what have I been up to? Hmn.. let me see...

I've been to see Anthony Robbins! Gosh! He's amazing! He has such immense energy and enthusiasm for life that it's almost overwhelming.. he's as what you would imagine a power life coach would be. All wham bam thank you maam! This is it, it is now kind of person.. Wow, something like that really kicks you right in the ass and says GO! Stop procrastinating and just go.. and I got to share the moment with 5,000 other people... (urgh! the crowd!) haha but with at least 3 other people that I really liked! My gal, Preetha... who btw is now Miss Jane Doe at Radio 91.3FM! Check her out on Saturday evenings on the request show! Whooot! More on that later.. With a most lovely couple, Michelle and Tim... Michelle is one of the sweetest person you can ever know and Tim is just as nice. They have two lovely boys and they're just the cutest!

How the hell did I get tickets to this amazing event? From the most lovely couple, Adele and Joe Augustin! Sounds familiar? Yea, Joe Augustin the DJ... both Adele and Joe are personal friends and mighty nice ones too! They gave me 4 GOLD tickets to this event and each ticket is worth $650 each can! Wah lau eh... where to find leh.. these guys are just precious. :) Thanks you guys! You're the best! You wouldn't believe how wide I was grinning and how lunatic I sounded laughing out of joy when you called me to let me know that you're giving me the tickets! :)

It was a day filled with alot of whoots!, screams, jumping and yelling all to get all the negativity out of my system and did I play it all out.. oh yes I did! Make full use of the experience and let it take over... *"the final countdown song running in my head* whoot! I'm pumped! Go GO Go!

And Go GO Goo I did too.. I'm now back on my regime of exercise and diet and this is a change that I'm now determined to keep! From the last time I was on this cycle, I dropped 5 kg from 100kg.. and yes! That was such an unbelievable size! What a whale!

Its been 2 weeks since I've been on CJ's modified atkins diet and I tell you, its just as unbelievable as he predicted it to be so.. I'm also back at the gym working out at least 3 time a week now and I've seen changes! The scales have moved again! I've started 2 weeks ago at 94kg. I'm not giving exact numbers to how much I've lost so we can surprise *some people who read my blog* with our latest progress the next time we meet! I'll update my numbers once I've met up with *these people* over the course of the next couple of weeks but it looks encouraging!

I've had my girlfriends rooting for me... you gals know who you are... I've had someone dear offer to give me money to lose weight! And why in my right mind would I want to miss this opportunity?!?! being paid to lose weight?? Where to find?!?!

I've had Hayden... a most talented fashion designer still giving me his support to dress me in one of his lovely creations when I've reached my target weight.

I may also have one of Singapore's best slimming & wellness centres offering me a great opportunity to be a before & after model!~ Who this is, I will announce later on when it is confirmed. Apparently, this is still being discussed in a management meeting on what they want to propose to me for this chance. Its still lovely news all the same!

I've had this chance given to me ONCE and I had to reject it at that time. Cenosis called me up some years ago and wanted me to consider being their before/after model but I had to commit 10 weekends, 10 week days and treatments that lasted 3-4 times a week. At that time, I just started a new job and I could not afford the days to do this for them. *kicking them mentally for not offering me this when I was still a SAHM! (means Stay at Home Mom).

And now again! Another offer by a different company to be their before/after model... I was thoroughly amused and I shared this with two of my closest galfriends.. and now everyone is just super excited but we're waiting with our fingers crossed. I hope to recieve news on this soon! Both my gals said GO! Just Go! and I'm thinking.. yea.. I'll just go.. CJ said.. just go! I doubt there will be a 3rd offer for something this good... so when the offer comes in.. I'll just take it.. unless it threatens to go against my moral inclinations, theaten my time and priority for my girls and affects my business. I'm wondering how it will be like, and dreading knowing that being on press ads if they decide to choose me would be like? Would I look good enough? It will invite so much criticism from all walks of life.. would I be recognised when I walk on the street? Will I feel happier being that way than what I am now and how will it change my life? We'll see how it goes with fingers crossed that things turn out well.