The Etiquette of a Social Kiss aka Beso Beso

Social Tips from me to you... learn and UNDERSTAND before attempting.

When you meet a person in Singapore, the first thing I notice is a usual non chalant. "Hey!" before the person sits down or goes on his/her way to do what they came to do.

Even when they part, its just a "Bye" and they depart without even an inkling of contact. Its cold. Especially between friends.

Rarely do I see a warmer greeting that is comfortably held in common context with the rest of the world. Or with the familiar greeting that I grew up with called the Beso Beso.

The word beso is Spanish for “kiss”. With spanish/filipina heritage, my sisters and I grew up meeting people we knew with a social cheek kiss or what we called a Beso Beso. It was normal and there was no squeamishness held around it.

Cheek kissing is “a ritual or social gesture to indicate friendship, perform a greeting, to confer congratulations, to comfort someone, or to show respect.”

In a cheek kiss, both persons lean forward and either lightly touch cheek with cheek or lip with cheek. Generally the gesture is repeated with the other cheek, or more, alternating cheeks. Hand-shaking or hugging may also take place. Depending on the situation, the number of kisses is one, two, or three.

Depending on the local culture, cheek kissing may be considered appropriate between a man and a woman, a parent and a child, two women, or two men. When you arrive, you kiss everybody hello. When you leave, you kiss everybody goodbye. Women kiss women. Women kiss men. Men kiss men. I still practice this form of greeting to those that I know find it socially acceptable and this would range from family to friends to even acquaintances that hold more western values or are the typical Ang Mos who have been exposed to this kind of greeting before and are known to me on a personal level.

I would not recommend this on a professional level of greeting where handshakes obviously are the better alternative.

I do have a few tips for novice social kissers when performing this kind of greeting. I have been horrified and amused in the course of the past few years *my eyes have practically rolled all over the floor after rolling in my head* but I would like those to know incase they "HAPPEN" to greet me.

• Do not.... stick your tongue out when trying to social kiss. Its a greeting. NOT a bloody french lovers kiss okay! Even if you go past my mouth area, NO LICKING MY EARS or FACE!!! *My mom complained once of a relative who attempted to do a beso and he went past her cheeks and ended up SUCKING on her earlobe. Blllaaaaaaarrrghhhh!!*

• Remember to offer to kiss the right check first before moving off to the alternate cheek.
• Start off with a handshake, pull the person close to a hug where you bump shoulders and then attempt ur Beso.
• If you want to start a beso, don't stutter and hesitate and swerve ur head left and right in hope of finding a side to begin. If you cannot begin on the right, then just start on the left lah!! Chin chai lahhh... *rolls eyes*
• Don't give an ultra silent beso, make it a little exaggerated and go "Muuaaak!" or at least mutter some form of greeting like "Good to see you again" after doing the customary 1-3 or 4 kisses. Make it sincere.
• Try to aim for the cheeks but do not end up kissing the person's ears/earlobes or neck.. If you miss accidentally and land on these places, just let it pass QUICKLY. Don't linger. But don't aim for these places on purpose, it sends shivers down the spine and makes it really uncomfortable for the reciever.
• You have a choice of lightly touching your lips on the person's face or just kissing the air. Do what you feel more comfortable. Please do not lick ur lips before attemping a beso and SLOBBER all over the reciever. If you have slimey lips, dry it first.
• Do NOT rub an oily cheek over the reciever. It just makes it icky and the reciever has to purposely wipe his/her face and it looks offensive instead of friendly. "Ewwww!!!"
• If you eating, please make sure no food pieces are left on your face that would latch on to your recievers face. Nothings more embarassing to have a vegetable leaf stuck to your face after recieving a beso.
• Make it quick. A beso beso should be done in under just a few seconds and not a long drawn out slow motion "Muuuuuuuaaaaaakkkkkkkk....* Get it over with QUICK.
• End off looking directly at the person, smile and break off.

If you're a man, try this next time as an alternative. Even if you're not intending to woo the lady, I'm sure giving a kiss on her hand would be most chivalrous and surely send a shiver down our spine.. how princely would that be and how charming.... *I'm waiting... hehehehh....*

There you go... next time you meet or leave a friend. Make it a warm greeting/departure. After all, you have given them some time in your life to be present, whether they make a difference to your day/month/year. Time spent is already time passed. So why not make it a warm one?

S.E.X to lose weight....

Lately, alot of people ask me what the secret is to living healthily and towards weightloss... and recently, I read this in an article from Men's Health that I think sums up what everyone should be encouraging in their life.

Have alot of S.E.X!!

S= Sleep Well

E= Eat Well

X= EXercise Well

And of course, it helps to have a good dose of those headboard banging real sweaty heart pounding sex regularly. *if you're in a relationship/married or whatever your status is.. or if you have a faithful partner lah*.

And who ever complained of having too much of all that? *smirk*
Food for thought... makes sense right?

Chicken Salad

We had chicken salad at the office yesterday and it was very Atkins friendly with a few points to note. And since I usually only eat one big meal a day these days... quantity is just nice too!

Preparation time: 5 minutes to open and throw together and mix.

1. Roasted Pepper Chicken - CHECK

2. Mayonnaise - CHECK *Was done in low fat Mayo- not recommended; tastes like crap diet shit but still edible.. next time use regular full fledged Mayo....*

3. Cheese - CHECK *I know its a lump of cheese, I was too lazy to grate it over*

4. Walnuts - CHECK *Walnut halves per 2tbsp serving has the lowest carb count*

5. Green grapes - You see alot on my plate but you would be limited to only 8 large grapes if you're strictly on the diet. For me, I worked out like crazy just 2 hours prior to my lunch... so grapes it is for me...yummm...

Ta-Daaa!! Lunch!! Together with my not very Atkins friendly Lemonade which holds 9gms of carbs.. accumulatively... I'm still under my 20gm daily limit!.. Whoooot!

Mark's Wedding Part 2

The Wedding Dinner finally came after all that flurry in the morning and as usual, cocktails began at 7pm at the Conrad Centennial Hotel. Donned with my newly selected black halter pants suit and CJ in his ethnic indian top, we recieved a whole hosts of ooohhss and ahhhhs.. and "Pamela! Is that you?" exclamations which was very flattering all around.

I met long time distant relatives, mostly those that I really didn't know existed and paid my greetings to the ones that I did know...

And amongst the sea of people in black, grey and green... my dad had to be the only one in blue.. striking blue stripes too.... arghhh....

*CJ: nudge nudge, "eh ur dad is there".. point point....*
*Me: "Eh... lets pretend not to know him.. rolls eyes...wah lau...haha..."

Well he couldn't be missed after all... and we said our "Hi!" and made our way to register and search for our table. Table 5! Whooot! Food! I was hungry! This shot of him is a rare shot of him smiling. He never smiles and if he does.. its rare and I'm so glad I caught it on camera! *Sigh.. thats my D!*

It was a typical chinese menu... and food was served individually so there wasn't really much of a presentation to take pictures of. So no food pictures here...The little bear was cute though and I made off with 12 of them little critters before the night was over... thanks to the donations from my table.. and also snapping up some from the next table who left without taking theirs.. heheh.

And we finally took a shot together.. this too is a VERY rare shot. VERY RARE. I don't remember the last time we even had a picture together so this picture. Is now very precious to me.

If you find him familiar, its probably you know him from SIA. He's the senior foreman *maintenance* there. So when your plane flys smoothly up into the air, you know he's one of the team behind keeping you safe in the air...

So from the man who made me... above.. my D! To the man who married me... below.. CJ!

Aiyoohh! Lao gong!! U sooo hamsap...*cough* I mean.. handsome... heh heh heh... ok lah.. I love u lah...

And my Mama! My dad's mommy... this also is a rare shot.. wahh last night should have taken more pictures... my mama was a TTSH nurse when she was younger and she was SIIIBEII CHIOOO AHHH!!!!! Must find that photo of her when she was younger. *ahem, I know that my arms are looking crazy big but ... whatever ok!*

Now that she's older, she's partially deaf. 60% gone in one ear and 40% in the other so I joke with her.. "60+40=100% right? Mama! You're 100% deaf leh!!" And poke her in the ribs and she still laughs heartily... *phew! at least she knows I have a sick sense of humour...* I love this lady.. she always kept the best part of the chicken for me...and you know.. I looove chicken.

My table was literally POWER PACKED! We had high flyers all around the whole table. My dad's baby sister, my Aunty Irene here with her dentist hubby, my Uncle Ben... specialising in root canals.. whooo.. now thats where the $$kaching$$ is eh!

And my dad's brother - Uncle David, filthy rich high profile oil broker with his wife Caroline.. *He literally already retired about 10 years ago after amassing a fortune from brokering*.. Envy envy..

His collection of sports cars are enough to make car enthusiasts drool, cry and pee IMMEDIATELY. If you think you have the highest vehicle specs, he has them higher. Now that's what you call big boy toys!!!

He also created the now closed bar "Fluid". I guess he got bored so he closed it down but it was pretty hot while it was in operations then some years ago...

My dad's sister, my aunty Adeline who is now the PR director for the Four Seasons Hotel... she really knows her PR and of course our Notorious Uncle Robert Young of the AIA Robert Young Agency.. EVERYONE at AIA knows him.. notoriously hahaha.. he knows the funniest jokes which always cracks me up during family dinners but he always has this serious side to me each time he pulls me aside... always holds my hand and asks me in all sincerity "you doing ok?" and "marriage needs effort ok? From both parties... " He never fails to ask me that quietly and every time we meet. *touched*

He met CJ some time before we got married and drilled him a little and said to me "Just wanna make sure that my niece isnt' going to be marrying a bastard bum"... hahahahah awwwwwww....I guess CJ passed! Heh Heh Heh!

And my Grand-Aunty Margaret aka my Aunty Margs aka my Dad's Aunt ... she is the BEST COOK EVER! She makes the best nonya food. Pastries. Achar. Cookies and Cakes... REALLY. She's super talented and her food. Is. To. Die. For. Seriously.

And of course for health's sake.. a glass of red wine a day is good for the heart. And Circulation too!

I love weddings esp when there are alot of people there I know. And it was a good time to reconnect with those that I've not seen for a long time or those I see only once a year during Chinese New Year... at least I can say I've seen everyone twice this year already! Hehhee!

And whats a wedding without flowers... the colour theme for this wedding, white, cream and green. Very fresh and very sweet all the same...

And a group shot... not with everyone... *of course I'll have to get that from the groom in a couple weeks but with my papa... various relatives and my grandmother's two close male kin. My Uncle Kim, on her right in black who tuitions primary school kids and my Uncle Poh on her left who does FABULOUS foot reflexology. He's retiring in the month's time and will be doing ad-hoc food reflexology on a per client basis IF he feels like it.. ahaha and thats how being retired should be. When you feel like it. :)

Men's Health: Martial Arts Feature.

Finally, after the long wait and me haunting the news stands daily, we got our hands on the magazine. CJ, my lao gong is in Men's Health March 2008 issue!

He wrote more about it on his blog so I won't need to go into details on this. Better take it firsthand from the person himself right? It was a Martial Art issue and he represented Karate... So cool right! :) This picture looks a little scary but how else is your face supposed to be when you're executing a flying kick!

During the photoshoot, his flying kicks was done so effortlessly that even the creative director and photographer was so impressed and only needed less than 20 minutes to take all the shots! There were SO MANY shots taken but I think this was the most impressive to them as he was literally flying in mid air.

Good Job Dah!! Very nice Mag article! For those who wants to read more details.. go buy Men's Health!..The whole magazine is really good read. REALLY!! $6 dollars nia... hahha... Buy it!

Mark's Wedding Part 1

On this day, 23rd of February 2008. My uncle.. who happens to be just 1 month older than I am gets married to his long time sweetheart Melissa. I lovingly call him just Mark. He's too young and close in age to be calling him Uncle!

We headed down to my kampong over at Serangoon Gardens to celebrate Holy Matrimony at St. Francis Xavier Church over at Chartwell Drive.. the church I grew up in, baptised in and had holy communion. It was a while since I stepped back there. It reminiscent of my childhood when I was in Singapore. Of Catechism... and Sunday mass... Only now, the church is now totally new! Air-conditioned and renovated everything! ... So it shows how long it has been since I've stepped back in there... Oh what a fallen Catholic I've become... *small sigh*

27 years ago, Mark and I were constant playmates.. we ran around the house like Monkeys.. did everything together for as long as he was over my place or I over at his. We insisted that we sit together on the chairs when we watched TV together... and in this pose is how most of our relatives remember us.. each time we all get together.. relatives would exclaim... "remember how you and Mark were so small and sat together on that chair? Now both of you are so big now!"

Yes, I remember.. of course.. the picture was a legend in the Toh family.. everyone remembered it but no one saw it around until Mark dug and dug and found it in an old album so he could use it for his wedding montage... *touched* that he put me in as a significant part of our childhood.

So here we are... around 3 years old together... and years pass... 27 years later and we're turning 30.. and voila... picture down below.. I'm already married and Mark's getting married! Gosh! Its such a poignant moment... *gasping back holding back my tears*... its funny how things run full circle... So very happy for him.. I'm so happy for u lah Mark!!! *bursting out in tears*

So today held a renewed experience for me too, after more than a decade. I actually headed out in a halter top and in a dress! I'm rarely in dresses and much less a halter. This dress came to me specially selected by my girlfriend, Destiny... funny how it sounds if you think about it...

Destiny chose this dress for me... lol... very nice. So I took it as a sign and plucked up some courage and put it on today. Funny how I look a little blind and lost when Lauren takes pictures of me.. hahahaha...

The mass ended, they said their vows, lit their candle and signed their certificates all done beautifully. My girls tried to follow the songs and said Amen when the guide book indicated a response. They looked at me a little puzzled and asked me why they had to do this, and do that.. why we had to sing all the words instead of say it. Why I made the sign of the cross?

Argh.. so many questions.. that only made me wonder if I should have lead them down the path more more religious spirituality of what I was born into... rather than giving them free will.

Everyone adjourned to the church's canteen for a lunch reception done by Angeli's Catering.. it was really not bad!.. the food was good. The drink was BAD. To me at least. It was water chestnut juice! I'm ALLERGIC to waterchestnuts!!

I peered into the cup, sniffed it, asked the person sitting in front of me.. what is this? She said... tastes like Gula Melaka?

Puzzled, I sniffed it again... someone said.. sugar cane! So I took a sip and BLLLAAARGHH! Spit it unglamourously out into my plate. WATERCHESTNUT!! I squealed. And the caterer came by and confirmed, "yes maam, its waterchestnut drink". I nearly fainted out of alarm.

I sat there for a couple of minutes, praying and praying that I would not burst out in hives or swell. But thankfully, albeit for a little itching on my face.. I was fine. Phew!~~

So thats it for Mark's Wedding for the first part of the day... next coming up tonight.. Wedding Dinner and I have yet another Destiny chosen outfit. A black halter top pants suit!! Fwwwoooaahh!! HOT!!... part 2 coming up IF I have pictures.. :)

Congratulations Mark!! *Love love*

*Evil laughter... Welcome to the Dark Side.... bwuahahhahahahahah*

I'm so Flattered!

When someone tells you that your pictures don't do you justice or when they exclaim with open arms "wow! you look alot better in real life than in your pictures!". You get really flattered.

REALLY FLATTERED. really.

I'm so tickled pink and am so appreciative to all of you *to those who said this to me and read my blog* to your sincere compliments that totally made my day!

I'm by no means a stunner, but hell, I think some of my pictures are really not bad...and if you think I'm better in real life... wow.. I'm inspired more to move on and reach that target.

I appreciate genuine appreciation to the efforts that I've put into this. A heartfelt thank you... all of you are wonderful people...

Thank you.

Atkins: HIAO ALERT!

*stop rolling your eyes!!* Hiao = Vain...which I am.. I have no qualms to admit that I'm vain. Heheh.... Some say I look a little drunk (I wasn't ok! The redness is BLUSH and I just realised I should have put on some lipstick!!).. some say I look a little Chao Dah *burnt*.. it was the swimming lah!! But overall.. I'll just keep this as an update of me at 79kg..

Ok so I'm fat. Big Deal. I foresee some angst filled readers blasting me soon but know this first.. I won't be this big for very long more.. just watch this space... I think its a pretty shot anyway. Although I look a little shocked.

For some reason though, I can't help feeling that it looks a little SPG too.. because of the tan...hmmpf...you think?

Anyway.... Big Grin :) I'm on my way down...

A first attempt at Sambal making..

Lying on the kitchen counter was a rather large pack of fresh chili padi that my mom in law bought for CNY.. rather than having it start to rot. I lay claim to it *after asking my momma in law nicely of course to whether I could have it* And started my experiment.

I found some fresh green lime and blended it. Threw in the washed fresh chili and blended that too.. threw in a teaspoon of sugar and looked into the blender.

Something wasn't right and realised. *alamak!!* No balachan.. so I scoured the fridge and viola! I found a small bottle of "Bagoong" which was a similar variant of balachan prawn paste = Filipino style... they use this to eat with egg plant, raw green mangoes or sliced turnip! Nice! Threw in a couple table spoons of that and blended somemore.. heated a little saucepan and dumped the mixture in and stirred over a low heat till the chili was soft and everyone in the house started complaining that I was cooking "armpits"... Success!!

*The hubster was screaming "CHAO *Smelly* AHH!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU COOKING IN THERE!!!!* Hhahahaha... ohhh... Sambal.. ok. (Covering his nose)

And because it was made with chili padi, all you need is a small teaspoon and....

FWHOOAAA!! FIRE!!!

For chili lovers who like that swollen mouth kick - eating sambal chili... mine sure has enough fire power to ensure those voluptuous swollen lips you've always wanted. Hahhaha.... enjoy! Not bad for my first try...

And what best to eat it with.... SAUSAGES!!! I looove sausages!!...Especially BIG Fat ones like these.... Yummm!!! *Drool*

Honeymeow Sauce at McDonalds

You've never seen sauce like this at McDonalds unless you've eaten there WITH ME. I've been making this concoction at this fast food place for more than a decade now...

I'd proudly call it Honeymeow Sauce... you can't ask for it over the counter but you can make it and it tastes GOOD!! HAHAHAH .. to me at least lah!

What you'll need are the following:

4 packs of Garlic Chili Sauce

2 packs of Mayonnaise

*Tastes better if u can wiggle some tartar sauce out of them instead of Mayo.*

4 sachets of Black Pepper

1 or 2 packs of BBQ Sauce

Open everything, dump into a nugget container, blend blend blend till you get something like the above and just sit back and... enjoy...

There you have it! Honeymeow Sauce... *yummmm....* Perfect for fries, nuggets and any burger you order at MacDs... sauce never tasted this good. Hmmmmm....