I'm...

going to have a baby.

NOT!!! Now please close your mouth and blink your eyes before you read on... Of course I'm not pregnant lah!!! Its just a passing thought.. where sometimes the maternal instinct kicks in when you're looking at little babies with their chubby cheeks and squishy arms, cooing and gurgling in all angelic cuteness... not all babies are like ann geddes posters of little angelings.

It temporarily blinds you to the times where at 330am in the morning, you're sitting on the bed in the bleak darkness, with a baby crying from colic attempting to wake the neighbourhood with her screaming and at the same time achieve an impersonation of a Ribena berry by holding her breathe and turning purple from all the crying.

With the noise resounding and bouncing off the walls, you'd think she'd probably grow up to be a rock star at the rate she was going. Hair all messed up, you'd think it would have come from a kinky romp but NOOOOO... more like a long evening of battling baby through her shower, tons of wet slippery diapers and worse... breasts leaking milk all over the brand new changed bedsheets.. .great. Just great. Hair is falling, you're tired and wonder.. oh god.. let morning come where she finally falls asleep.. I NEED REST.

This only works if your child is like mine and sleeps more in the morning than they do at night. It took me 3 years to finally have a good night sleep without waking once.

If you reverse the sequence even more... being pregnant.. where the glorious part is when you can let "everything out" and wear fitted clothes while showing off your bump makes it relaxing. No more tucking in your tummy and no more avoiding food because you're "allowed" to eat more.. you look radiant at times and people give you chairs almost everywhere you go to sit... and not to mention.. sex is GREAT too... almost the best you can ever have and orgasms can go on FOREVER... no kidding.... if a nympho ever wanted the best sex in her life.. she should be ALWAYS pregnant... haha don't knock it till u tried it. *lol*

If you have never felt how a baby feels when they are moving IN your body. You cannot imagine how pleasurable it feels in the early stages...*pleasurable not in the SEX sense ah!!! but how unique and satisfying it feels where you see people excitedly go hey! the baby is moving and quickly grab your hands and puts it on the bump just to feel the flesh move while you try to identify if that was an elbow, a butt or a knee...

It starts with a fluttery kind of feeling.. sometimes a little squirmy like a gastric bubble and you start to wonder if that was it... after a while.. you get used to it and it becomes more pronounced and you KNOW its it... and once you're on the final stages of pregnancy. You start to wish that the baby would just go back to sleep after lodging her leg up into your lung giving you a chest spasm... or sitting on your bladder where every 5 mins gives you the urge to pee the most minimal droplets of pee while feeling like you're holding a ton.

I've always had textbook pregnancies.. both went somewhat smoothly without any medical problems at all other than the dreaded morning sickness and the aversion to food and oil. Almost everything smelt bad.. hawker centres were the worst! They should call it all day sickness bc it doesn't only hit you in the morning but really ALL DAY LONG... I had plastic bags in my pockets, in my bag, in the car... I lose at least 10-12kg just because of the vommiting alone. Imagine that...

Not only that... how about dizzy spells? I can't remember how many dizzy spells I got then becuase they became too many to remember... the blood pressure plummets or rises and the body goes haywire...

And the worst.. the weight gain is incredible.. each pregnancy saw at least 22kg pile onto my body.. very much on the excessive side of weight gain but we were both happy that both girls came our perfect and healthy.

Looking back and looking at them... it all goes under a sacrifice that I willingly and lovingly went through just for them... Once.. twice.. but 3 times... I think not. There's only so much you can take.. perhaps I can take only one more time.. but do I really want to? Really?

My sister in law holds no doubts that she would love to see another niece or nephew... CJ obviously WANTS another one.. my own mother dreams about me being pregnant... my mother in law also hints on a 3rd one on the way.. like times where she keeps a piece of clothing that gets too small and says.. its ok... "save it for your next one". -.-

I used to say, two girls and one boy.. but it seems so much like a scary thing to do... so I'm very happy with two girls. Thank you very much. And because I have thought about this sequence of 2G and 1B.. and I do get pregnant.. and its a girl.. would I be dissappointed? Its all too hazy to think about.. you cannot GUARANTEE that you can get the sequence you want and all you can do is hope that the baby is healthy as a horse and looks just as perfect as their sisters...

*Sigh... * What to do? ....

Who says there is going to be a next one??