OMG its Atkins...

The new year began and we set resolutions that we don't keep... I guess it would be a standard, *hold hand up in the air and chant* ... I will lose weight this year... I will wake up earlier each morning... I will stop sitting on my ass and be more pro-active in my life... yadda yadda yadda...

Its like trying to convince yourself that you would be a happier person if you actually do all that... maybe? Well.. I got started on one at least and just said.. f*ck the rest.. I'll get to it once I get my first one rolling.. so here goes the ball...

CJ started the new year with great determination to lose some of the flab that seemed to have made residence on his body over the past months.. we both have been sitting on our asses almost 60-80% of the time at the office and you can imagine the other 10% for me is out meeting clients and the last 10% is in the search for food!! Sigh.. no wonder we're looking like pigs.

Anyway, he went a week before he convinced me that I should stop procrastinating and just get off my ass to work my body out.. Oh ye ole body.. how long have I neglected thee.. Its been a long time..

He suggested, lets go on atkins... and I balked in horror.. OH! Nooo.... this is not going to be easy.. but what is?... so I said ok. I'll do it.. *what was I thinking???*

Atkins is a diet where you would be on a high protein diet and cut out carbohydrates such as bread and rice... and for anyone who knows me.. I LOOVE rice... *staring dreamily at the wall thinking of a huge plate of steaming soft rice with chicken gravy....**damn**

It is not easy to go on a diet in Singapore and it is certainly NOT cheap! Walk into any hawker centre and what do you see? Chee Cheong Fun... Curry Rice..Rice with something.. Char Kuay Teow!! or Fish Noodle something... and Nonya kuays galore... *oh god please help me*

I began with trepidation... a little doubtful that I can manage this great sacrifice... yes. You were wondering.. GREAT SACRIFICE? yes I say.. its a big one.. but you gotta start somewhere...

We start off our diet on a 6 day schedule.. and break it on Sunday when all the family is at home and we have our weekly family meal... I look foward to Sunday's just because of this now..

Other than thinking about what ELSE I can do to chicken.. and what else I can make that is rice and bread free... I think we're doing alright.. Its been 2 weeks since we started and this would make it our 2nd sunday since we began... I'm amazed and very proud of myself for such self restraint...

*going hazy back into memories..* I recall stepping on a weighing scale some decade ago and looking down and seeing a manageable weight of 53-55kg and looked over a very young CJ who was also weghing in arnd 80kg... "shoot me if I ever hit 60kg can?"... amused, he agreed..

He didn't keep that promise hahahah or maybe he did.. he did "shoot" at me many times because I'm a young momma with 2 school going children one decade later hahaha... *grumble grumble* I meant to SHOOT me with a gun lah deh... sigh... Can't blame him tho... It has been a steady weight gain till today..

Steeping in self denial, I never did want to look at the scale because I could see it in the form of my shopping purchases.. I went from a size 10 to a size 18 in over 10 years.. Before I hit any bigger sizes that has to be custom made, I better do something about it.. I won't say that I would be a happier person but at least I hope that I'd be healthier and have more energy before I hit my big 30 birthday... so it still gives me some time.

Wow.. I just realised that this is going to be such a long entry...

Anyway.. we made it a point to make our way down to the pharmacy and bought a weighing scale.. its a nice black colour one with a huge traditional face..

*heart racing* I stepped on the scale and peeked down. (eyes going wide in horror).

Oh-my-holy-lord.

I've hit 99kg. Just one kg short of a 1% fraction of a ton. I'm a whale. *faint*

Breathing hard, I step off in wonder on how I managed to get myself into such a horrifying state. It was a beginning of a long journey. I silently made a promise that this is it. The last straw.

Procrastinating.. yes.. this will be the last time I'm tipping the scales at this size. Mark my words.

So today's post sees me at 99kg. Today is the 13th of January 2007 and I am... erm... 28 years old?

I forgot to add also that we started jogging and doing what CJ calls conditioning where we are focusing on strengthening our muscles and lower half of the body. I've gone about twice so far in the past week and we're going again tonight..

I'm determined to keep this up.

He mentioned the other day over chicken.. "you know now that support is so important in the effort to lose weight?" I nodded.. and thought ... oh yes... it surely is..

For the times that I walk past a chicken rice stall and stare longingly at the steaming rice.. and have him pull me away.. "control, control" he says.. "control, control" I say in my head.. and turn away... *puff out a deep breathe....control... *

It must be hard on him too... I try to help him where I can see that he is losing his will and wants to break the diet... I will insist that he stays on it and look for an alternative...

The beginning is hard.. perhaps we will get used to it soon.