It works very well for us because only CJ and I understand it at home and speak it very fast because we've gone past the stage where we can spell out the words that we don't want our children to realise we're talking about. He knows that once I start talking in F, it means its something that the children is not supposed to hear.
Previously we were like, "hey shall we go for a S-W-I-M?". We spell it like that so that we don't let our children know that we were planning it in case we change our mind. Letting them know plans in advance that we don't carry out just means disaster in terms of disappointment / pouty faces / wailing / whining and mild temper tantrums. BUT now that our girls CAN READ & SPELL, spelling out our "hidden" words just doesn't work anymore. So we fell back to speaking F language real quick in these occasions and it still works fabulous.
So how do you speak F language?
Its where you place a letter F in front of every syllable break.
You break up a word if it has syllables and say the actual word, then u repeat it again right after but remove the first letter of the repeated word and replace it with an "F".
The first exception is that when its a vowel, you just add an "F" in front the repeated word without removing the vowel. Another exception is that if the original word already starts with F, just say it once. Ie Fish is just fish, not Fishfish.
How are you? is Howfow arefare youfou?
Shall we eat pizza or macaroni tonight? is Shallfall wefee eatfeat pifi zafa orfor mafa cafa rofo nifi tofo nightfight?
You damn fucking bastard, I'm going to kill you! is Youfou damnfamn fucking basfas tardfard, I'mfi'm gofo ingfing tofo killlfill youfou!
Shall we go swimming or go to the beach? is Shallfall wefee gofo swimfwim ingfing orfor gofo tofo thefhe beachfeach?
The trick about listening to someone speak the F language is that you just listen to the first syllables and ignoring the F-f-f-f that comes after that. What other people would hear is a whole bunch of words that they partially can understand but a whole lot of FFFffffsss...
So there you have it. F-language. Specially effective for parents of lower primary levels where they still haven't figured out what the heck their parents are Fuh fuh fuhing about. Or just when you want to pass the message to a fellow F language speaker while confusing other people when you feel like it.
Thankfank youfou for readfead ingfing myfy blogflog. Nowfow gofo learnfearn somefome F langfang guagefuage. :)